Prince is cool, shut up. Although I don't buy his look and don't find him that hot.
Corners should fucking go to hell because they're in the fucking way when it's dark. Ok, this morning I really had to pee and after walking out of the bathroom in pitch blackness, I hit my head on the corner. I was supposed to turn around it, not hit my head into it. My skull made this excruciatingly loud sound on collision and to tell you the damn truth, it didn't hurt. But I think I woke up the entire house though. Haha sucks for them. Then when I got back in bed this slight bump started to emerge under my hair. Good thing by the time I woke up it was gone. Lesson learned: don't drink before going to bed.
Abbreviations are always hard for me to figure out. I most often see fata, or mh, or etid, even state ones fuck up with my mind. No no, but the hardest one to date is btbam. When I first saw it, I was like, "butt bam?" I do know gnr all too well to not know what it means, and if I didn't know, I might as well have ran into that wall instead. Vi always threatens to call dyphus or something whenever she hears about my abusive folks. It took me months to figure out that it's some agency that sues bad parents or something. But I still don't know what it stands for.
Purple Rain is a boring movie. I don't know why I'm watching it. You guessed it, Prince is a crappy actor. He mostly just performs in concerts during the whole thing, so you don't see many examples of his failure.
So, we're leaving for Hawaii tomorrow. I have the uncontrollable urge to stand up in the middle of the flight and yell, "BOMB!" Congratulations for you people, this will be my last post for a while. So my entries won't be filling up your friends pages anymore.
I now welcome your death threats to be posted, now that I'll be gone for some time.
Christina N. @ 3:58 PM
Tuesday, July 27
In two days we're leaving for Hawaii at 9 in the morning. I don't know what I feel about it. Yeah it is cool and all, but vacationing with your family isn't always the most enjoyable thing. I'm banned from eating seafood there. That's really fucking full of bullshit. I'm also banned from a lot of other things, for the safety sake of others around me.
Meanwhile, I'm missing Knife the Glitter. Oh poo. I think it's the 3rd one this year that I've missed.
Karla just called to see if I could go to the mall with her on Saturday. I wish I could take her to Hawaii with me. Along with a few other suckers who are willing to become bacon.
A dream I had last night gave me another reason to hate animals. There was this annoying fucktart puppy who kept chewing up my ankle but absolutely adored and treated everyone else with dignity and puppy cutieness. It chewed up my heroin vein in my ankle pretty well. Damn canines.
I just could not part with my Led Zeppelin box set. I don't think I'll be able to bring it with me to Hawaii. I just could not stand to bear the pain of our separation. It's done so much for me and I love it to the bottom of my heart. Oh those endless nights with its decadent delicious bluesy pleasure caressing my ear drums.
Christina N. @ 6:45 PM
INSTRUCTIONS:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold/underline the things that are true about you.
3. Whatever you don't bold/underline is false
01. I miss somebody right now.
02. I don't watch much TV these days.
03. I love olives - black and/or green.
04. I love sleeping.
05. I own lots of books.
06. I wear glasses or contact lenses.
07. I love to play video games.
08. I've tried marijuana.
09. I've watched porn movies.
10. I have been in a threesome.
11. I have been the psycho-ex in a past relationship.
12. I believe honesty is usually the best policy.
13. I have acne free skin.
14. I like and respect Al Sharpton.
15. I curse frequently.
16. I have changed a lot mentally over the last year.
17. I have a hobby.
18. I've been told I have a nice butt.
19. I carry my knife/razor everywhere with me.
20. I'm really, really smart.
21. I've never broken someone's bones.
22. I have a secret that I am ashamed to reveal.
23. I hate the rain.
24. I'm paranoid at times.
25. I would get plastic surgery if it were 100% safe, free of cost, and scar free.
26. I need money right now!
27. I love sushi.
28. I talk really, really fast.
29. I have fresh breath in the morning.
30. I have semi-long hair.
31. I have lost money in Las Vegas.
32. I have at least one brother and/or one sister.
33. I was born in a country outside of the U.S.
34. I shave my legs.
35. I have a twin.
36. I have worn fake hair/nails/eyelashes in the past.
37. I couldn't survive without Caller I.D.
38. I like the way that I look.
39. I have lied to a good friend in the last 6 months.
40. I know how to do cornrows.
41. I am usually pessimistic.
42. I have mood swings.
43. I think prostitution should be legalized.
44. I think Britney Spears is hot.
45. I have cheated on a significant other in the past.
46. I have a hidden talent.
47. I'm always hyper no matter how much sugar I have.
48. I think that I'm popular.
49. I am currently single.
50. I have kissed someone of the same sex.
51. I enjoy talking on the phone.
52. I practically live in sweatpants or PJ pants.
53. I love to shop.
54. I would rather shop than eat.
55. I would classify myself as ghetto.
56. I'm bourgie and have worn a sweater tied around my shoulders.
57. I'm obsessed with my LJ.
58. I don't hate anyone.
59. I'm a pretty good dancer.
60. I don't think Mike Tyson raped Desiree Washington.
61. I'm completely embarrassed to be seen with my mother.
62. I have a cell phone.
64. I watch MTV on a daily basis.
65. I have passed out drunk in the past 6 months.
66. I love drama.
67. I have never been in a real relationship before.
68. I've rejected someone before.
69. I currently have a crush on someone.
70. I have no idea what I want to do for the rest of my life.
71. I want to have children in the future.
72. I have changed a diaper before.
73. I've had the cops called on me before.
74. I bite my nails.
75. I am a member of the Tom Green fan club.
76. I'm not allergic to anything.
77. I have a lot to learn.
78. I have dated someone at least 10 years older or younger.
79. I plan on seeing Ice Cube's newest "Friday" movie.
80. I am very shy around the opposite sex sometimes.
81. I'm online 24/7, even as an away message
82. I have at least 5 away messages saved.
83. I have tried alcohol or drugs before.
84. I have made a move on a friend's significant other in the past.
85. I own the "South Park" movie.
86. I have avoided assignments at work to be on Xanga or Livejournal.
87. When I was a kid I played "the birds and the bees" with a neighbor or chum.
88. I enjoy some country music.
89. I love my best friends.
90. I think that Pizza Hut has the best pizza.
91. I watch soap operas whenever I can.
92. I'm obsessive, anal retentive, and often a perfectionist.
93. I have used my sexuality to advance my career.
94. I love Michael Jackson, scandals and all.
95. I know all the words to Slick Rick's "Children's Story."
96. Halloween is awesome because you get free candy.
97. I watch Spongebob Squarepants and I like it.
98. I have dated a close friend's ex.
99. I'm happy as of this moment.
I'm not a very well-rounded person.
Christina N. @ 5:07 PM
Monday, July 26
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU MY SEXY AXL???
Talk about middle age crisis.
Christina N. @ 7:33 PM
Scott Ian had some naaaaasty hair back in the day.
Listening to Zeppelin before going to bed fucking feels great. You can't imagine how much I fucking love Led Zeppelin. I'd kill just to go back and see one of their concerts. I mean, I'd even kill Pee Wee Herman for god's sake. If i could, I'd invent little speakers that you stick into your ears that would play Zeppelin tunes for all eternity and just wear them for the rest of my life. I could care less about what you fuckers are saying. Just kidding, but that would be cool though.
Yesterday I spent 7 hours of lying down watching tv. Seven fucking hours. Even if Sundays do have the worst television out of all the days of the week.
Christina N. @ 3:53 PM
Saturday, July 24
I want this.
Christina N. @ 6:12 PM
Velvet Revolver means cock. Haha.
Victoria's Secret is the coolest store. It smells good and the fitting rooms are even more luxurious than my house itself. The only reason I agreed to go to the mall was to get a garlic pretzel at Auntie Anne's. And I got it. They are damn fucking good and they had so many samples on the counter that if my mom and sister weren't there I probably would've just taken the whole tray and ran away with it the speed of a crack addict having just seen a vile full of crack the size of Ricki Lake's ass.
Saw Vi and Christine there. Haven't seen them since school ended.
I am sad to say that I know absolutely nothing about Thin Lizzy. I hear about them from time to time, but I know nothing except that they're really good. This is a real fucking shame. Axl the puss was wearing a shirt that had their logo on it and reminds me that I must do more research and get WinMx. Sheesh.
Have to go New York tomorrow again. Wake up early and go, then to my dad's friend's boring party afterwards. Ew. I'm obsessive-compulsive and cannot stand dirty bathrooms. Maybe I'll bring this 500-page book on the Lizard King and finish it up completely there.
Ripped jeans feel good. They're airy and stuff and it doesn't matter how much you fuck them up because that's the goddamn point. Now ripped shirts, that's prostitution uniform. I used to know this girl who ripped her shirts where the bra strap would show and I'd be like, "What happened to your shirt?" and then she'd yell at me and say "IT WAS LIKE THAT, DUMBASS. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT IT'S THE STYLE?" Yeah right like I'm that much of a shithead and am gonna fall for it.
Christina N. @ 5:57 PM
Friday, July 23
I used to be in love with this guy.
But I do suggest all you men grow your hair long of that sort of style. I'd fall for you in the second it takes for a person with diarrhea to run to the bathroom.
It's this man's birthday today. He kicks ass.
This man is a pussy.
Led Zeppelin box set will keep your ears in pleasure for hours. You should get it.
Christina N. @ 6:23 PM
I have been doing absolutely nothing this past week. Wake up, eat, watch tv, shower, internet. Same thing. Over and over and over. Who gives a fuck this is the life.
Why do people dislike that Crash Test Dummies song "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" so much? I think it's good and makes a very nice lullaby.
I'm watching the "Big Bang Baby" video right now, and oh man do Scott's lime pants turn me on.
Things at home are going pretty badly. No one wants to have anything to do with me and you can't imagine how lonely it is. Oh well it's their goddamn fault anyway for jumping to conclusions.
Wow I smell really good Caress soap is the shit. I could just smell myself all day til the soapy smell wears off.
This basement computer kicks ass no adware!
Oh yeah, mall tomorrow. I hate Rockaway Townsquare shopping. Because I end up wearing the same clothes as at least 3 other bitches in school. And that's not funny. I had already seen like 5 people with my Led Zeppelin shirt. Jeez, fuck off posers. One of them even bought it just to piss me off. It worked. I used to wear it like every 2 days it was insane.
Christina N. @ 5:56 PM
Thursday, July 22
Should the Anti-Avril Lavigne Association (AALA) come back? I remember I started it a year or so ago and you can't imagine how many people IMed me dissing me and complaining to me, claiming that "she's fucking awesome and is the best singer in the whole world" or "she totally kicks ass so why won't you fuck off". Hahaha or something like that. There were only like 9 members total. Nine. I'm ashamed of you people these days. Thinking a revolution about nothing will be led by such prissy midget who wears influenza makeup? Not to mention you Dashboard fans. You don't know shit about, um, anything to say the least.
What the fuck is with Stryper? Parents say that "rock n roll is the devil" and here comes an 80's hair metal christian rock band with hair, leather, lights, aquanet, day-glo spandex and all. Talk about an oxymoron. Not to mention that they are morons. They threw bibles into the crowd. Oh wow that is just so holy what if it was a hardcover one and kills a fan by hitting them on the head? The fan deserved it anyway for attending one of their concerts and headbanging in the name of God. To tell you the truth, I haven't heard much of their music but I have heard enough to know that they suck. Let's just simplify it down to this: ALL CHRISTIAN ROCK SUCKS. It's nothing but pathetic irony. Oh man and Creed, I bet even the Pope got up and did the mashed potato hearing that they broke up.
I got a blister on my thumb from peeling giant okra today. For dinner. I don't even like vegetables and my mom makes me cut them up or peel them or prepare them or whatever the fuck you could do to them for cooking.
Haha, my sister has diarrhea. She's been taking up the bathroom for at least 5 times today already. And no, I did not put laxatives or flu germs in her cantaloupe which she loves to eat so much.
Christina N. @ 5:36 PM
Wednesday, July 21
I seriously envy Pamela Des Barres. Seriously. Call me a whore all you want, but she was one goddamn lucky bitch. Let's see who she has fucked thus far:
Jim Morrison
Jimmy Page
Jimi Hendrix
Keith Moon
And that's just the sprinkles on the cake. I can't remember the numerous, and I mean numerous, others she said in an interview for VH1, but that's enough to cramp you up so bad as though you're on your heavy day. I'd like to read her book, I'm With the Band: Confessions of a Groupie just out of curiosity and well, it seems fascinating enough. Come on, I know you kids want to read that too.
I'd also like to read that autobiography damn I forgot what it's called that David Lee Roth wrote. The only problem is: no money. Why can't the fucking school pay for it? Hey at least I'm willing to learn about something.
Sometimes I wonder why I'm always on AIM when I rarely ever IM anyone. Let's say....once a week. Makes no sense. And stating this doesn't either.
My mom's working all this week at night. Ah, peace and quiet. No, she's not a hooker. Florist that is.
She said this Saturday we're going to the Rockaway Mall at Victoria's Secret to use up our $10 gift card. Frankly, I despise that mall and doesn't it seem odd that lots of people from your school and the shitful rival school hang out there too? Who gives a fuck picking out lacy lingerie is damn fun. But unless you look like Carnie Wilson 10 years ago I suggest you not even think about that.
Although I despise the mall, I only go to hang out with friends, which is only like once every 6 months. Yeah, just try to find a person who gets grounded as often and long as I do. Just try. It's as hard as identifying your children in a playground while high on LSD and ecstasy dowsed down with Absolut Vodka.
Bad Haircut show on August 6th. I can't go. My heart is broken. Reasons are:
1. I'll be coming back from vacation from Hawaii
2. something in other words, my head was beat into the dirt
I think there's a Knife the Glitter show on the 27th next week. Can someone buy me a t-shirt?
What the fuck is wrong with Rancid? That guy should not write another single goddamn note until he is back on crack. Their crappy song is stuck in my head and it's not making me feel any better than what I've been complaining all through this death threat to Gwar I call a journal entry. Having Good Charlotte and Kelly Osbourne in their video? Smiling throughout the whole video? Punk? My ass.
Christina N. @ 5:34 PM
Tuesday, July 20
Jeannie has the coolest neighbor. Because he looks like David Bowie. Every time our car pulls into her driveway I try to get a peek at the dude cuz of his holy Ziggy-ness.
The airport was boring. They don't have restaurants outside the airline gates. So it was either go home or eat chip bags. We went home after dropping them off and I ate a hella good sandwich in the car. This time I didn't get my hands dirty, but my shirt did.
On the way driving out of the airport, while I was munching on my delectable minding my own business, my mom suddenly yells out "NORTH OR SOUTH, NORTH OR SOUTH??" And so I said the first thing that the first sign said that came up and answer "North!" and then she's like "Oh shit we went the wrong way it's your fault!" And I'm thinking 'What the fuck I couldn't give a shit about getting home this sandwich is the shit.'
Hyde was wearing a Jimmy Page shirt last night on That 70's Show. What good taste that boy has. I want that shirt goddammit.
Seeing an Olive Garden commercial has ruined me from 2:00 in the morning til this very moment and being hungry is not cool.
This is pointless, but I just thought it was funny:
MCS bust a move: i dont care what conan says...i would bow down to the Fed-X pope
Auto response from WhipItGOOD05: would you bow down to the Fed-Ex Pope?
WhipItGOOD05: well good for you praise the lord
MCS bust a move: hahaha
WhipItGOOD05: haha i bless you with stamps galore
MCS bust a move: awesome
WhipItGOOD05: and on the forehead as of ash monday
MCS bust a move: you mean ash wednesday
WhipItGOOD05: shush the church of fed-ex says different!
MCS bust a move: o no! how could i forget
WhipItGOOD05: go to confession in the refrigerator fed-ex box young lady
MCS bust a move: do i have too?
WhipItGOOD05: or let hitler and his german "mail service" take your soul away? your choice
MCS bust a move: o man...tuff one
MCS bust a move: hitler has a funy moustache...but i want my soul
WhipItGOOD05: in the name of ups do it for the kids
WhipItGOOD05: hahaha
MCS bust a move: hahaha
MCS bust a move is away at 10:06:40 PM.
WhipItGOOD05: that's right mailman george will meet you at your confession!
Auto response from MCS bust a move: o man i dont want hitler to take my soul...
you werent there, you dont get it...
bbl
Maybe I should write a book someday. About nothing. I'll call it Jerry Seinfeld.
Christina N. @ 4:49 PM
Monday, July 19
Oh shit I broke a sink today. Leaned on it, bottom stand gets disconnected, falls, shatters everywhere all over the floor. Luckily it was the one in the basement bathroom, for if it were upstairs I would've probably made the floor collapse along with it. It made a cool sound and I don't feel bad about it at all. It was my grandpa's fault for not installing it properly. But I am a little queasy about when my dad comes home from work and finds that his secret sanctuary has been vandalized.
Tomorrow have to wake up early to drop off Jeannie, her mom, and her sister off at the airport. The thing about airports is, they seem really fucking awesome to be in when you're about to go somewhere or when someone is just coming from somewhere else to visit you. It's all huge with cool machines that go around and around - its a paradise for pickpockets that master in the luggage field. And all these stores that sell cinnamon buns and coffee and spiffy souveneirs even if you do already live there and who knows maybe a hot guy here and there. And plenty of lavatory waste trucks to make fun of.
But then there's the part where the person is leaving or you're leaving. I hate goodbyes. And carrying luggage in a crappy rolling suitcase that falls over every 10 seconds spilling your underwear and whips and possessions on the gleaming polished white floor.
Last night I was bored (as usual) and That 70's Show-less, so I thought up a list of cds that must be purchased.
The Strokes - Room on Fire
Stone Temple Pilots - Thank You
Def Leppard - Pyromania
Every Time I Die - Hot Damn!
Guns n Roses - Appetite for Destruction
Incubus - A Crow Left of the Murder (iffy)
No, I don't have Appetite for Destruction and I should should smash my head on the floor instead of that sink. I'd download, but Kazaa is a piece of Gwar shit and fucked up my computer with adware and spyware crap, added to what was already in it. Another option is to look far and wide on the internet for sites that offer free downloads and struggle with pain in the ass pop-ups that come as often as another body is dumped into the Hudson River every night.
Christina N. @ 6:33 PM
Sunday, July 18
I've been listening to way too much Stone Temple Pilots. Yes, it's another musical phase going on. I downloaded "Dancing Days" and for like 3 whole days I thought and read it as "Days of the Week". What the fuck? It's that kinky "orange" seltzer in the basement, that's what it is.
I'm very bored. And Jeannie's leaving for California on Tuesday. In two weeks I'll be in Hawaii bursting into flames. That's the second place next to the equator and a church where I'll burst into flames.
Why do I always watch Jackass before going to sleep? It's some odd ritual that I never realized til now. I was watching the movie at like 2 in the morning, and oh man is that shit funny.
I have to go to a boring ass party next Sunday. I'd appreciate it if someone would call the cellular telephonic device and keep me company, but I know you don't want to.
I started a drawing of Axl Rose a few days ago. I only worked on it for like 5 minutes and that's it. All there is is the outline of his face and it looks like a rock.
My mom seems like I could get a pair of boots. That would be awesome. Because I'm tired of having the same pair of sneakers as at least 20 other people but none of their's are in green and white. Losers.
There's nothing really to write exept random boring stuff but hey, it's my journal and I'll type whatever Satan wants.
Christina N. @ 5:49 PM
Wow, I haven't done one of these in a long time. I'm proud of myself.
What is your secret guaranteed weeping movie?
edward scissorhands
If you could have plastic surgery, what would you have done?
this entire wasteland i call a body
Do you have a completely irrational fear?
dirty bathrooms
What is the little physical habit that gives away your insecure moment?
blinking when i'm super tired
Do you have too many love interests?
yes, but not crushes
Do you know anyone famous?
me, as the biggest shithead in the world
Describe your bed.
very lonely
Spontaneous or plan?
spontaneous
Do you know how to play poker?
hell yes
What do you carry with you at all times?
a flask. if i had one
What do you miss most about being little?
i wasn't 6 inches taller than my entire family and i had more respect
Are you happy with your given name?
not really. but it's cool if you pronounce my last name the wrong way and it sounds like nugent
How much money would it take to get you to give up the Internet for one year?
enough to get laid
Like yourself and believe in yourself?
i love myself as much as i love gwar
Do transient, homeless, or starving people bother you?
if they like gwar, then yes
Do you consider yourself to be a nice person?
no
What's one thing you wish you could do but can't?
be a decent human being, and play guitar like edie van halen or dance like scott weiland
What is your ideal marriage location?
italy, man
Which musical instrument do you wish you could play?
i said that already
Favorite fabric?
cow skin
Something you love and hate?
i love smirnoff ice and hate hangovers
What kind of bedding do you use?
haha, leopard skin
Do you tell your friends about your sex life?
i never tell anyone anything pretty much, bitch
What's the one language you want to learn?
i don't even know all the words in the english language fuck you
What do you order at a bar?
i order them to give me stuff for free
Have you ever pierced your body parts?
ears
Do you have tattoos?
nope
Would you ever admit to having done plastic surgery any kind if confronted?
probably
Do you drive stick?
i can't even drive a bumper car
What's one trait you hate in a person?
not talking to me after knowing me for a while
What kind of watch(es) do you wear?
watches suck. don't wear them and time goes faster to your time of death
Frivolous purchase?
what the hell does frivolous mean
Do you consider yourself materialistic?
as in a material girl very
What do you cook the best?
disses about gwar
Favorite writing instrument?
a nice aromatic bottle of spraypaint
Do you prefer to stand out or blend in?
depends what drugs you're on if any
Do you have anything monogrammed?
i don't even know what that means
What kind of books do you like to read?
kama sutra just kidding rock autobiographies
If you won the lottery, what would you do?
pay scott weiland to let me have a look down his pants
What's one thing you're a sore loser at?
everything there is possible
If you don't like a person, how do you show it?
try to ignore them and if they do talk to me diss them constantly
Do you cry in front of friends?
no
What kind of first impression do you think you give to people?
i'm a goddamn loser who wears a leather jacket
What's one thing you like to do alone?
take a shit
Are you a giver or a taker?
taker. stealing is the way of life if you have no money
When's the last time you cried?
approximately 48 hours ago
Favorite communication method?
a love letter that is actually true
How many drinks before you're tipsy?
don't know
Favorite kind of porn?
kiddie porn! just kidding.
Do you ever have to beg?
begging is for pussies. like axl
Have you ever done any illegal drugs?
probably
Do you think you're cute?
as cute as rob reiner hell yeah
Do you have problems changing clothes in front of friends?
not really. if i looked like hilary clinton i would
What's the most painful experience you've ever had?
running into a wall headfirst. or having a pretzel thrown at my eye. that hurts like fuck you know
Christina N. @ 12:20 AM
Saturday, July 17
Fat Joe's t-shirt is so huge it could be used as a king sized bed comforter. He's such a fucking loser, how could he have that many groupies? The most disgusting thing on tv I have ever seen since Avril Lavigne's legs is him performing on MTV's Spring Break on stage with his shirt off sweating like a shiny fatty oily porkroast in the oven.
I've been thinking, it is utterly pathetic that I have gotten grounded just after a mere 3 weeks of being ungrounded. I was planning on going to the mall next Friday, but no hopes at this point.
Can't wait til I get kicked out of the house. Sleepovers at all of you guys' houses! We could make s'mores and have pillow fights while wearing frilly lingerie sleep garments. Well, for you girls. And some guys if you really want.
Jeannie came over today. Watched tons of tv and ate crackers and peanut butter.
Christina N. @ 10:26 PM
Friday, July 16
How the fuck do chickens stay alive even after getting their heads cut off? It's been baffling me for years and I still have no goddamn legitimate answer. Aw man, I'd like to do that to ex dead president Robert Taft and see him run around like a giant jiggly hairy jello mould with blood spurting out of the neck.
I wanna get Where the West Was Won. But I have no money.
I also want to see Pulp Fiction again. And laugh at the awkward dance scene. And when Vince shoots Marvin in the face by accident.
I don't want to read this book anymore. It's too fucking boring. The only nonfictions I like are rock autobiographies. This is a rock biography. Hence nothing funny. The only thing worth looking at long enough are the pictures of Jim Morrison.
I wish I could pull off wearing aviator sunglasses. That would be so awesome.
By the way, I need more Led Zeppelin t-shirts.
Is silly puddy a liquid, or a solid? Same thing with peanut butter. Or maybe it's something in between, called a siquid. Sounds like some disoriented drunk-on-Jack-Daniels squid to me.
Wow, that was so shitful.
This is one of the most kick ass instrumental songs I have ever heard. Bonzo's drums almost practically beat out Jimmy's acoustic completely.
The bitch slut neighbor's dog across the street won't keep it's fucking mouse trap fucking shut. It barks all afternoon, all morning, all times when I'm in the bathroom, because that room is directly across from the dog's fucking whorehouse. I'd like to walk over there with a butcher knife, sever its head off with a crunch of the spine, skin its now brown shit-stained fur off, butcher it into pieces for cooking, make teriyaki with sauce, and give it as a gift to the 3 cent slut that owns it.
Then she'll be like, "Where's my dog?". And I'll be like, "About to be in your toilet."
That was just too graphically enjoyable, but this is what happens when you're locked up in the house for months at a time.
Christina N. @ 9:29 PM
Look! It's Jiffy Pop: The Anti-Maxi Pad Kid!
No scanning, because it's a piece of Gwar shit.
Yeah, I'm very bored.
Christina N. @ 5:13 PM
Thursday, July 15
My Playstation is getting lonely. I should've never let my parents put it in the sibling's room. She never plays it, and it's been gathering dust for the past few months. I mean, if it were on my property once again, it would be my child. And my Xbox? It's staying in the living room, because it's a little too chunky for me.
I finally downloaded "Smoke on the Water". Into my computer, into My Shared Folder, no one can take it away from me. Just try it and you'll lose your pinky.So, at last I have laughed while watching I Love the 90's. On 1995, while talking about Braveheart, Michael Ian Black was commenting that the Scottish didn't wear underwear, like Sean Connery, and says in the most awesome impression, "I'm not wearing any panties." Haha, that man is my new hero. Yeah, that might've not seemed funny what I just typed, that's because I'm a crappy writer.
"I Like Food" is one spiffy song. I'm glad I found it yesterday. The ironic thing is, I've been on this Gwar-tasting medicine that doesn't allow me to eat anything, anything, decent, and if I reach for something and my mom sees, she slaps my hand with her sandpaper-textured hand, and now that is pain. I've gotten used to not eating a full meal for more than 3 hours.
Christina N. @ 5:32 PM
Wednesday, July 14
I can't believe this. I have over 400 files. Some of these just had to come up first.
step 1: open winamp, or whatever MP3 player.
step 2: put all of your music on random.
step 3: write down the first twenty songs it plays, no matter how embarrassing
...
1. "I Like Food" - The Descendants
2. "C'mon Get Happy" - The Partridge Family
3. "Don't Whiz on the Electric Fence" - Ren and Stimpy
4. "It's Log!" - Ren and Stimpy
5. Ren and Stimpy Theme
6. "Room Without a Window" - Operation Ivy
7. "Seventeen" - Sex Pistols
8. "Judy is a Punk" - The Ramones
9. "Eruption" - Van Halen
10. "One Fine Day" - The Carpenters
11. "Schools are Prisons" - Sex Pistols
12. "Knowledge" - Operation Ivy
13. "Happy Happy Joy Joy" - Ren and Stimpy
14. "I'm a Lazy Sod" - Sex Pistols
15. "Eller" - The Strokes
16. "Teenage Kicks" - The Undertones
17. "We're Going to Be Friends" - The White Stripes
18. "I Wanna Be Your Dog" - Iggy Pop and The Stooges
19. "Chainsaw" - The Ramones
20. "From Me to You" - The Beatles
Christina N. @ 9:22 PM
I have this horrible urge to ramble. Yes, about useless and uninteresting shit. I could really go for a muffin right now, which I will.
Christina N. @ 8:34 PM
So, my mom and I stopped arguing about my shittiness and started arguing over whether The Godfather is real or not. She thinks he's real and claims that some of his relatives are still in jail to this day. I think he's fake because I've read (yes, I read) the book and it is stated that everything is totally fictitious. I guess I really am shitty, because I can't believe that I am not 100% sure on this question.
You know what song I seriously cannot stand with all the agony of a thousand AIDS infested heroin needles? "The Final Countdown" by Europe. The guy on 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs was right, any band that has is named after a geographical location sucks. Boston, Kansas, Europe, Asia, America, they all fucking suck. Even if I haven't heard all of them yet. And every band that has the word "velvet" in its name fucking kicks ass. Velvet Underground, Velvet Revolver, I heard Dino Velvet is good, Velvet Goldmine I heard is a good movie. Dammit there's a couple more but I currently forgot them at the moment. And don't even get me started on names like Taking Back Sunday or A Day at Risk or 3 Days Grace. Because they absolutely are the Ross Perot's of music.
Shut up, Every Time I Die is an exception.
It disappoints me when artists name their albums as just their artist name. Although I love The Cure, why the hell did they name their latest, and definitely not their first, as when self-titled albums are called; The Cure? That just doesn't involve a lot of creativity in that, isn't that what music is all about?
Christina N. @ 6:51 PM
I heard a bird chirp at 1:15 in the morning. That's no fucking fair.
They cancelled That 70's Show last night. That's no fucking fair either. I'm starting to really like that show. But there are some flaws. Some of the acting is really fucking shitty. Especially Donna. And they don't have any chemisty between the characters at all. Most definitely Eric and Donna. Sheesh, and they're getting married. On the other hand, it has really good writing and situations. Ok this is boring me anyway that show is cool.
I'm thinking about taking up art again. I can't do anything else good. That's the only thing left. I'd scan my drawings for you losers who actually read this Gwar shit, but the scanner is as crappy as a lock of Michael Bolton's hair.
Speaking of Michael Bolton, HE'S ON I LOVE THE 90'S. I give that show a ZERO. Michael Bolton automatically makes a show CRAPPY. NEVER put Michael Bolton on your show if you want it to be successful. Or even have at least a single viewer. Or even have any of the producers watch it.
Christina N. @ 4:29 PM
Yeah, I just got grounded again after two weeks of freedom. Go ahead, laugh all you want. But it wasn't me who killed and cooked your three year old sibling.
Christina N. @ 1:08 AM
Tuesday, July 13
Didn't change much. Because I'm stupid. I wish I was Mary in that picture.
I know it's kind of crappy, because I didn't change any margins or table sizes. Or something.
Christina N. @ 8:37 PM
WOW, I AM ONE YEAR OLDER. AND I STILL CAN'T DRIVE OR DRINK.
LEGALLY.
Christina N. @ 1:06 AM
Monday, July 12
I am an extremely boring person. Partially because my parents lock me up in the house like a clincally insane wad of turd.
Eric came over today, watched Pulp Fiction and Futurama. It's funny how people shoot niggers in the face by accident. Especially Phil Lamarr.
My birthday is tomorrow. I sense a boringness so boring, I bet even Nikki Sixx would sit down and do algebra problems. Cuz I'm not sure if Monica's coming either. She said she'd call, but no sign of a call yet. And that was Saturday.
I Love the 90's was a total disappointment. I'd rather watch reruns of Tim Robbins movies. Although he is pretty cool I'd have to say. It's that fucking boring. Don't watch it, kids. It's a fucking boring waste of time.
I seriously need to get out more, I'm terribly dense and still when not high on something. It's inhumane. And my folks always scare me shitless with the threat of another punishment for some pointless-as-Vanilla-Ice reason.
I used to be friends with a girl that only took one shower each week. That's fucking gross when she told me, I'm glad we lost touch.
Must get more jeans. It's a new obsession.
I miss hearing Every Time I Die. My computer is being a piece of Gwar poo and my wallet is being a jar of mustard. Man, I can't even view an image without choosing the right program to open it and to view it with.
Woodstock has been in mind lately. Are there going to be anymore?
My skin has been improving it's mult-colored tannedness. Sadly I'll have to go to Hawaii at the end of this month and turn into a permanently enraged Vietnamese islander who's always on her period.
And if you didn't get that, that means horrible sunburn and everlasting tan.
AXL IS A PUSSY GODDAMMIT.
Christina N. @ 11:31 PM
Going to bed now. Dammit I need another shower.
Christina N. @ 1:29 AM
I feel like I'm neglecting my blog. Not good, Christina. Just been copying and pasting from my livejournal. I don't know, I'm a fuckwit and tend to work with the one that looks prettier. Because I'm a really big fuckwit and doesn't know enough html.
It's 12:46 A.M. And I'm worried about tomorrow. I hate worrying. Causes blemishes.
Christina N. @ 12:49 AM
My mom needs to get that bamboo rod out of her ass. Seriously. I'm going to have a shitty birthday if she doesn't.
Don't you sometimes want for school to be back into session? If that demon lady would stop using aluminum tampons and let me do something once in a while, I wouldn't be feeling this way. On school days I could see my friends regularly again. But then again there's those certain number of people who I can't fucking stand. Almost as bad as Gwar. I could barely even stand my own grade. That's pretty bad. I'm kind of afraid for senior year to come.
There's a bitch out there who's trying to find my journal, and she's as nosy as a crackhead paparazzo. She'll probably go around bugging every single person who's ever spoken a word to me to try to find this. I've almost had enough of her bullshit, I don't ever want to see her in school again. Or ever. Anywhere. Nowhere!
I really wish I could take 8 minute showers. Having long hair wastes approximately 20 - 30 more minutes of my useless adolescent boredness time. And I don't give a fuck about how Alanis Morrissette feels. Her music fucking sucks. Come to think of it, I'm almost considering her to be even worse than Dashboard Confessional. Go Alanis.
Christina N. @ 12:22 AM
Sunday, July 11
I'm thinking about making a new layout. Perhaps Stone Temple Pilots or Guns n Roses.
Anyway, I'm fucking pissed. My mom is fucking sexist. And the only person she says that is ever allowed over is Monica. Because she's so perfect. Fuck sexism, she doesn't know my friends to judge them on their gender. I'm going to have a shitty birthday, on account of knowing I'll be bored as fuck. And not getting a copy of the cd which you see in the background. A good drink would do great right about now.
Christina N. @ 7:22 PM
Saturday, July 10
I haven't been this overly aggravted in a long ass time. My mom's letting Monica come over for my birthday on Tuesday but isn't letting Eric come over on Monday for dinner. Is she going fucking sexist or something? God, and this time when I asked her about something social I didn't flinch after blurting out the question in a split second. Come on Tom Cruise, get that goddamn glow stick outta your ass.
Christina N. @ 10:01 PM
Your anthem should be The End!
Which of these Doors songs should be your anthem?
brought to you by Quizilla
I should fucking smash my head on cement for never yet hearing that song. And I'll do the same thing to Kazaa for being such a piece of Gwar shit.
Christina N. @ 6:38 PM
It's a shame I haven't been listening to Nirvana in such a long long time, cuz I used to listen to their greatest hits thing for so long, I started to see little flannel shirts dancing around in my head.
I'm such a fuckhead, I can never hear out lyrics correctly. Before, I thought Axl was saying in "Welcome to the Jungle", "We got no money, honey, but we got your disease" and put that for the links comment below. I was wrong. The thing is, I listen to a lot of stuff, but can never sound anything out. Seriously, I can't. That was probably the best I could do. My headphones are dying and are starting to get staticky, and I still can't hear the words correctly.
Looks like another night of boredom. No Battle of the Bands for me. I think there's a Knife the Glitter show on the 27th, hopefully Tom Cruise will get that glow stick out of his ass and keep my mom in a good mood. And, we're leaving for vacation the day after, so it's a definite iffy.
My birthday is in 3 days. Woo hoo.
There were a lot of interesting flyers all over New York today to read while stuck in fat-guy-eating-donuts-suddenly-getting-heart-attack induced traffic; I Love the 90's, Pee Wee's Wee Wee, pubic hair and a nation on edge, The Hives, and whole bunch of other lovely stuff to set your eyes on.
You know what I can never get enough of? Small black shirts and jeans. I don't care if I just got 2 new pairs this week, I need MORE.
Christina N. @ 6:22 PM
Friday, July 9
My livejournal is so sexy. I could hardly believe my eyes. Looks like I'm gonna need laser eye surgery I can't take it.
Well, not really. I think it kind of sucks. But hey I got a Buckethead icon that makes up for all the crappiness.
Christina N. @ 10:42 PM
I was watching Whose Line is it Anyway?, and I started thinking about manatees. What good are they to this world? Well, besides for being something fun for boat propellers to cut up and send blood and blubber splattering everywhere for the fish to suck on, they're absolutely useless. They take up space and even if they are gentle creatures, they aren't the prettiest pool ornaments either. They're as useless as emo kids. All they do is cry and cry that they wanna die, we don't need them. And, they'd be fun to shoot with a colt .45 and watch them fall in their own puddle of tears and blood. It's their wish come true. Go to hell or something and shove pineapples up Hitler's ass for all I care.
Tomorrow I have to go to the skin dude in New York for the last time. And this time I want to eat in Little Italy or else I'm gonna scream and cause so much stress that all the medicine's miracles would all be reversed. My dad's probably not taking me this time, so maybe there won't be so much trouble.
AXL IS A PUSSY. Remember that.
Christina N. @ 4:33 PM
Thursday, July 8
Ever since summer started, I've been living practically like a hippie. And I don't think I have to say anything more to that.
I've been noticing, for some reason there's a lot of stuff about Jim Morrison in my room. It's creepy that I never notice anything coming in or out of my room, not mentioning men. Just kidding, I'm no crackwhore.
Alright, on with yesterday. We went shopping at Jersey Gardens and I've never been so fucking spoiled in my life. Now I know what it feels like to be a valley girl. I got to go on this huge ass shopping spree, with my mom paying for all of it. And supposedly that was my birthday present. My most prized purchase was also a very stupid one, according to some conformist assholes. I had to persaude her into paying for that one. Yeah, 20 bucks for a pair of ripped jeans. Hey, they had this beautiful wash on them that normally would never be sold that cheap, usually for 40 dollars or more, and plus, they ripped the holes in the jeans for me already! Great bargain, in my opinion. Cuz I bet if I started ripping my own old jeans, I'd start ripping up myself in the process, cutting my death wish in half the years. Gag me with a spoon!
A whole lot of other shit happened, but I don't feel like getting into boring, tedious details. We spent nearly 9, 9 fucking hours in that Tom-Cruise-forbidden place. My feet were as sore as a bony-assed dominatrix after getting whip, fire, and dick torture. A good note to myself is to always wear sneakers when entering a brand new shopping frontier.
For some strange reason I've always thought of God looking like Tom Cruise. I don't even like Tom Cruise that much. Nor Christians. Kinda like The Kids in the Hall, when I think the fag dies and comes back and is about to go back to heaven, the other fag asks him real quick, "WAIT! WHAT DOES GOD LOOK LIKE?", and he answers, "OPRAH!" Oh man, I love that show. It's a real pity they don't show it anymore. I mean, take some of that Madtv away, put The Kids in the Hall back on.
I wanna go out somewhere. Get away from the sight of my shit smelling room and do something. Doing something is something that I never do. Wow that made no sense but I doubt you'll get the idea.
Oh yeah, I also got Monica's present. It's a Korean bunny stuffed animal thing that's smoking a cigarette. I think she'll like it. Cuz I'm not gonna be trendy and buy her a notebook. Jeez I've gotten like 5 of those already and they've no use to me whatsoever, because they're too pretty write in and I have nothing to write. Doodle satanic drawings, yes. But useful things to read, no.
Birds irritate the shit ouf of me. I leave my window open 24/7 for some fresh air, considering no one would fucking buy an air conditioner. And all through the goddamn morning between the hours of 5 - 11 they're chirping their little eggy feathery asses off and disturbing my much needed sleep cycle. It's like a hundred kindergarteners that decided to set up their playground outside my window and expect me to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for them and hand out juice boxes. Yeah in hell will I do that or provide a backyard for birds to have sex in. The only thing they're good for is, dinner and eating worms.
Sorry for vegans who just read that.
Christina N. @ 5:12 PM
Tuesday, July 6
Aw man, I have the sudden urge to slather creamy silvery sparkly stuff all over myself and dance like Scott Weiland in that video. With psycho-angst 3-month-constipated Teletubbies and all. Well, minus the Sarah Michelle Gellar. This is what happens when you haven't stepped out of the house in a long time.
Holy shit that's a good idea for a Halloween costume! On Halloween I could slather a thousand silver milky pen's worth of ink on myself, wear a black bikini and dance around like an erotic pixie maniac and have some people dress as Teletubbies with pregnant-woman-in-labor faces.
My birthday's in exactly a week from today. Monica's gonna come over with cake and I'm gonna eat it all in 5 minutes. 2 minutes if it were chocolate. 20 seconds if it were a giant fudge brownie.
Come to think of it, I was being a shithead and didn't get anything for her birthday nor did I acknowledge it at all. I think I'm going to get her something on Friday when I go shopping. Who cares if her birthday was last month. And why the hell is there this freaky beam of light moving around the room? It's the least I can do, cuz she's the most devoted and loyal friend I've ever had, and I've always taken her generosity for granted. Yes, Christina is so full of shit.
Christina N. @ 7:12 PM
Isn't there anyone out there who agrees with me that Perry Farrell is ugly as hell? It of course doesn't make Jane's Addiction a crappy band but, this morning at approximately 1:30 I happened to be watching the "Just Because" video and he keeps shaking his ass in front of the camera and well, I have succeeded in making it another night of difficulty getting to sleep.
My report card finally came in today, and all I have to say is that I did not get any absences at all and that I rank 106 out of a class of 295.
And a birthday card that my grandparents sent me from California came in today, with 20 dollars inside.
That is much of an improvement from the last time they sent me and the sibling birthday cards, cuz mine mysteriously got "lost" in the mail and I got not money or card at all, while the other person got a card and 20 bucks.
Christina N. @ 6:59 PM
Monday, July 5
Word of advice for before-going-to-bed rituals: Never watch 50 Most Awesomely Bad Songs before you go to sleep. How am I supposed to sleep with "I'm too sexy for my car, too sexy for my car, too sexy by far!" playing over and over in my head while seeing bald night club dancers wearing fishnet shirts? And fortunately enough, once I did get to sleep, I didn't have kinky dreams of cats and ripped t shirts and bald men on steroids with prune-sized testicles.
It comes to mind that I now have an excuse for everything.
"I'm too sexy to pay for it."
"I'm too sexy for school."
"I'm too sexy for your party."
"I'm too sexy to help you."
"I'm too sexy for this project."
"I'm too sexy to take you."
"I'm too sexy to talk to you."
The sad part is, I'm not sexy. :(
Christina N. @ 6:02 PM
Sunday, July 4
Jeannie just went home. Watched more of I Love the 80's and ate eggrolls and drank Minute Maid. You know what else is pathetic? Watching the same movie twice in less than 5 hours because you seriously have nothing else to do. Yup, I have quite a bit of Reservoir Dogs lines memorized by now.
Today woke up at 1:30 in the afternoon with a bad headache. I missed my dad's memorial thing, I actually feel bad about something for once.
MTV's pissing me off that they keep showing the same 5 or so episodes of Jackass over and over and over and over. Jeez what about the other 3 and 4/5 seasons, huh? Last year I asked like 7 or 10 of my friends to get me the movie or any of the season on dvd for my birthday and not a single asshole got it. Excuses like, "I went to three different stores and they didn't have it" and bullshit like that. And what are friends for? They're for pissing you off, that's what. And now those same people won't even talk to me anymore. It's been like a year already.
Beavis and Butthead was on at random times yesterday and there's this other show, Aeon Flux. I've never seen such a sad attempt at being erotically entertaining. THE saddest. One of the crappiest and most turns-me-off shows I've ever seen. The worst amateur porn next to that shitty movie Heavy Metal. That movie gives a bad name to that music genre too. Don't get me started on this subject, I'll go on forever. Just like I'll go on about how bad Gwar is. I swear, if you locked me in a room and forced me to listen to one of their albums for 10 straight minutes I'll have to live in a mental facility wearing a straight jacket and Hannibal mask with that devil nurse from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, while eating nothing but crunchy oatmeal and getting uncomfortably cold sponge baths for the rest of my life.
Ok every time my mom says my last name out loud I think of Ted Nugent. Wango tango! It's that weird instinct you get when you hear Dashboard Confessional. Hear one note, you automatically think about jumping into that grave with your hands folded neatly across your chest with a flower in the middle.
Aw man, I could go on forever talking about uninteresting shit. But I'll save you the heartwrenching agony by shutting the fuck up.
Christina N. @ 10:36 PM
Saturday, July 3
The 70's were awesome, you could wear hot pants without being called a whore. And guys wore tight jeans and they weren't called fags. I find myself watching an I Love the 70's marathon again, because I'm always extremely bored with nothing better to do than watch B-grade celebrities announce their opinions on pornographic 1970's pop culture.
Added to that, I've also been watching a lot of That 70's Show. Why? Because Jay Leno's sort of boring me now. I don't know why. Who knows, maybe I've finally stopped laughing at how his chin grows .296439759835 of an inch bigger every week. The Tom Green Show should seriously be put back on the air, I always preferred to watch that for some reason. And Jimmy Kimmel just pretty much sucks.
My birthday's in 10 days! =D
Christina N. @ 6:09 PM
This was from last night.
I'm bored, so I'll just stun you with these pictures of people's stupidity shots.
E.T. was arrested for battery, misdemeanor charges.
Christina N. @ 5:40 PM
Friday, July 2
If you mention the name ABBA just once to me, "Dancing Queen" automatically gets stuck in my head.
Nothing's going on. And I am very bored. I learned that Robert Smith hates The Darkness. That breaks my heart. Well, not really. I enjoy listening to The Darkness no matter what people think of them.
I was watching Footloose on VH1 again last night, and it is really baffling me at the end how they all know those latest 80's dance moves. And yes, I practically remember every line and every person that says the line from I Love the 80's.
Oh yeah we watched Kill Bill too. I knew it was going to be kick ass, cuz that's Quentin Tarantino for you. I learned that Uma Thurman has ugly feet. That's what you get for wearing heels too often.
I broke a piece off of my sister's desk while vaccuuming. That's not good.
Christina N. @ 4:26 PM
Thursday, July 1
I'm bored. No one's online. Hence no one is talking to me. No has called. No one will call. And why? Because they all have sophisticated, interesting, progressive, social lives.
I'm a huge Incubus fan. I must keep my promise to myself and get A Crow Left of the Murder. It puzzles me why fucking Best Buy didn't have it. Best Buy. Did not have have A Crow Left of the Murder. They could just shut down and sell the company to Dunkin' Donuts for all I care.
Maybe I should take up art again, and start drawing. Drawing musicians is my main thing. But probably not drawing one with a lot of curly hair, like Jimmy Page, or some 80's hair metal dude, cuz that may be a bit difficult for an ass like me. I really wish the scanner had that program to load scanned pictures onto the computer, cuz then you folks could see my Van Gogh's and Picasso's.
I like rambling. It takes up time. Just the way I like that Led Zeppelin song called "Ramble On."
Hey to take up space, I'll copy and paste what was in my shitty livejournal:
I am so making that into a t shirt. Did they even spell legalize right?
Christina N. @ 5:19 PM
So the date is set, we're going to Hawaii in the end of this month. Sounds corny, doesn't it? Well fuck you cuz I'm leaving you assholes! Just kidding.
I'm getting tired of this layout already. It isn't much, but simplicity is cool. If there were decent hosts and uploaders that didn't resize your goddamn image, I'd have a nifty Jim Morrison or Stone Temple Pilots for you to lay your eyes upon right now.
I counted wrong, my birthday's in 12 days. Math is as easy for me as it is for Avril Lavigne to sing on the right pitch. Monica's definitely coming over with cake I think and we're gonna hang out which is really needed cuz we haven't since, so long ago I forgot. This weekend there's stuff I have to do. Next week is shopping. The next week is my birthday. The week after that, before vacation, I'm free. Any takers? I highly doubt it.
Summer's going fast, which is good, because I want my fucking childhood to go by faster. Yes, I have shitheaded philosophies.
Irony is so weird. When I was a dipshitted tomboy kid I hated clothes almost as much as I hate Gwar and never understood why my mom always took forever looking in clothing catalogs or clothing racks in the mall. Well now, one of my favorite sayings is, "Shopping is my cardio." So you get the idea.
Vanilla Ice needs a wooden pellet to his head for stealing the beat in the beginning of this song. Freddie Mercury will get you. Someday. He'll haunt you with AIDS and HIV viruses to teach you not to steal his songs.
This entry is dumb I don't know what the hell is going on.
Christina N. @ 4:54 PM
