Tuesday, November 6
Shit, motherfucker. I fucking reek of alcohol. Last time I drank was at lunch today. Fucking fuck, man. I even stuck around campus for about another hour before driving home - which I did just fine. Eventually that shit is going to be spilling out of my skin pores for every waking moment of my life. Now that is when you know you have an alcohol problem.

So I only showed up for one of my classes today, being that I still did not write the paper for the other. I got a friend to sign my name in on the attendance sheet, so I should be all good. That class is fucking pointless anyway - hence me skipping...to go shopping.

I left Newark and went to Daffy's in East Hanover, and bought a badass pair of lace-up leather gloves, gray thermal hoodie top, and a brown leather bomber jacket. All for under $60. And then after I left Daffy's, I for some reason had to take a dump the size of Bangladesh and parked my car at Barnes & Noble to use their restroom. On my way out, I spotted a George Carlin book in the bargain shelf entitled, "When Will Jesus Bring the Pork Chops?" Did I buy it? Fuck yeah! I bought it.

Got home at around 5:30 and folks made me eat dinner with them. Every time I burped or opened my mouth, I felt like a dragon breathing fucking SoCo fumes at me. It wasn't bad enough for them to notice. I think they're used to my weird smells anyway.

I somehow managed to answer 98% of all the questions on tonight's episode of Cash Cab correctly, and make my parents laugh their asses off when telling them about how I found blood on my car this weekend. They denied my allegations that it was blood (proof is gone because the rain from this morning washed it away) and claimed that it was bird poop. I then proceeded to enlighten them on the various assortment of colors and textures of bird dung in comparison to the much lesser viscosity of blood, and how when blood dries it is sort of brown and dark red. I don't know why they found it so funny. I wasn't even really trying.


Christina N. @ 7:29 PM


Monday, November 5
HOLY SHIT, I could use a drink right now. I've got to write this 5-page paper that is already a week late. I know, five pages is pretty much a pussy college paper, but it's just one of those papers that are clearly about bullshit, literally - that no matter how any days you have put it aside, you still can't fucking do it. I swear, tomorrow for lunch I'm ordering a fucking SoCo Kamikaze.

Aaaaaand...that's it.


Christina N. @ 8:22 PM