We all get those times where we're just pissed off and somber as hell. I'm not sure why this current wave is washing through. Cigarette shortage? Perhaps. But that's a bullshit reason. It sucks balls. My car has been in the shop all week, therefore my folks have been forced to drive me to work, which means that I don't have the privilege of going to the store to stock up on Camels or do somewhat secretive things that I wish. All I'm down to is two Benson & Hedges, about fifteen Lucky Strikes, and three crappy Marlboro Virginia Blends that I bummed off from a co-worker - all to last me until Sunday when I get my car back and hang out with Amy.
Benson & Hedges makes sensational cigarettes, and I am very saddened that I am almost done with my wonderful pack. For some reason, whenever I think of them (which is a lot), I think of one of the Gallagher brothers from Oasis who owned two cats of which he named Benson and Hedges. How beautiful.
I guess I have a serious self-esteem problem, even though that I sort of conceitedly think that I am awesome all the while. #1: I never contact people. My cell phone has been rendered absolutely useless for the past two weeks. The only time that I actually utilize my cell phone to the typical teenager's full potential is when I am highly intoxicated; and then I feel like an asshole afterwards for bothering people with stupid shit like, "Did you know...that the sun rose today and warmed the grass? It is so totally fucking green today. In winter, the grass is hot as hell!!!!"
I seldom think that I am a pain in the ass to people whenever I call them because most of the time they're busy doing something - therefore never bothering to call. It's paranoia of whether they like me or not. So I end up being bored as fuck and smoking in the bathroom by myself too many times a day at home. My parents have finally accepted that I begrudgingly just will not stop smoking. However, I still prefer not to light 'em up in front of them for I know they despise this habit and have to respect them. I have to admit, it's the only time of the day that I am purely enjoying myself. Otherwise, my sarcasm has completely taken over my persona, pretty much; If you catch my drift.
Yesterday I went with a fellow comrade and co-worker to go see There Will Be Blood, the new and quite fantastic Daniel Day-Lewis movie. At first I never really liked him, only because I went through the agony of being forced to watch The Crucible in high school, something I highly regret assuming, for that movie and John Proctor pissed me off a fucking lot. There Will Be Blood is a pretty damn serious movie, but I wanted to crack up so badly during some parts that I had to restrain myself, although a bunch of others in the theater were also laughing quite a bit. But the thing is, being the staunch atheist that I am, must crack my ass fucking off every time there is a severe religious insult. Anyway, it is a highly recommended film.
Speaking of things that I enjoy, I also tremendously enjoy that show on the Discovery Channel called Man vs. Wild. Holy shit, man. Watching some hot-as-fuck british ex-soldier dude eating a flopping raw fish straight out of the river sends me through the goddamn roof. And that other time where he picked maggots out of a deer corpse and ate them - after being grossed out for about .325678 seconds, I just had to laugh. Man vs. Wild is television gold.
However, I do hate the fact that I have been watching more television lately because I have nothing else to do. It is always an extreme reluctance for me whenever I even think about reaching for my remote. I feel ashamed whenever I do that, and then feel even more ashamed when there is even more bullshit on TV to watch and get pissed off at myself for having to put myself through such pain and everlasting agony. TV isn't going to get better. Not until 2012 when all of electricity and mankind is going to be wiped off the planet.
I kid. 2012 is lame.
Exactly!
