Monday, September 17
Have you ever had one of those times where you have to shit really badly while at someplace other than home, and go out of your way to find a public restroom that is deserted from the crowds? Well, this morning after my first class and having eaten a bunch of fiber (the Starbucks "Very Veggie Wrap" and a "toffee almond bar"), I soon found myself pregnant with a brick inside my abdomen. I walked into an obscurely located empty restroom in the building, and sat in an obscurely located stall. I thought I was going to be in for a 5-minute shrinkfest for my tummy, until only seconds later before I reached euphoria I hear a girl walk into the restroom and sit her stupid ass in the stall right next to mine. What baffles me is that while I was walking the halls looking for a sacred portal, I could have fucking sworn that I was by myself; the entire building seemed deserted and my footsteps echoed. And then lo and behold, Satan sends one of his bitches after me from out of nowhere. And not to mention that that bathroom had at least ten stalls in it. Isn't it fucking common courtesy when there are few people in a public area, they stay away from each other as much as possible? It's like when you're in an empty movie theater by yourself, and all of a sudden comes this stranger with a bucket of popcorn the size of a dog bath who for some stupid fuckass reason decides to sit their fat fucking ass right next to you - and therefore ruin the entire movie-watching experience. Well, this girl didn't just have to take a pee. She was also calling somebody in the stall. Dude, you are at least fucking 18 years old and in college - cell phones are not Nazi confiscated like they were in middle school or high school. There's no need to be hiding in a bathroom stall (albeit in an empty bathroom whose occupant right next to you is in the empty bathroom for a legitimate reason) to make a goddamn phone call. It's called "going outside because the building exit is only around the corner from the bathroom."

I even tried waiting it out for the bitch to leave. She just wouldn't. So I got fed up and hiked across campus to the library.


Christina N. @ 10:08 PM