Friday, July 27
I fucking hate driving. I really do. Or rather, I hate drivers. The other day I was going 10-15 miles over the speed limit on a back road, and this motherfucker still tailgated me. One of the only things that I am excited about getting my license on Tuesday is that since my parents won't be in the car with me, I'll get to flip off and yell at as many bitchass motherfuckers as I want to. And I'll tell the shitface hispanics who constantly gawk at me to get a fucking passport, too.

Yeah, so I didn't get my license yet as I said a very long ago because my mom was being a doo doo head. When I first asked her if I could schedule my road test before vacation to California, she said no because "I wasn't ready." So I signed up for the end of July. By the time she changed her mind and said that I could get my license before vacation, all of the available days at the DMV were booked up to the end of July. What the fuck? is all I have to say.

So earlier this week Kerry and I, in attempts of filling our empty pockets, tried panhandling. She brought her guitar and we set up by the doors at the mall while I held up a sign that read, "NEED MONEY FOR COLLEGE." Yes, we were a complete fraud; because all we wanted was pocket money for food and whatnot. But we made $16.25 in just 45 minutes of panhandling before a janitor squealed on us and a security guard kicked us out. Can I emphasize that this is the hundredth time that a dipshit has ratted out on me for something completely not serious?

Vacation wasn't bad. I had so much shit to mention here but I never knew where to start, up until now where I can't even remember anything. I could write a huge picture entry, but that would take a goddamn long time. However, I could tell ya'll about the night that made my entire vacation, which was when I saw Lewis Black perform at the MGM Grand in Vegas.

My mom wanted to eat at the huge buffet at the MGM Grand that day, so while walking through the damn place I saw Lewis Black signs everywhere, saying that he'd be performing for a few nights - one of which was the date that I would be staying in Vegas. I asked if I could go, and miraculously, the woman said, "Okay." So after lunch, we went to the concierge desk and bought one ticket for $70, third row booth. No one else wanted to go with me (thank fucking goodness), so I'd have to walk back to the MGM from our hotel (the Monte Carlo) that night in time for the show.

I got to the Hollywood Theater deep inside the depths of the casino in the MGM early, and sat at my booth, which was supposed to sit five other people. The turned out to be the funniest goddamn people I had ever met in my life. I can't clearly remember all of their names, but I'll do my best: there were two couples in their 30's - Roy and Natalie, and Scott and Charlie. Scott's daughter, around my age, was there also. I can't remember her name worth a shit.

Roy had charmingly warned me first-off that every single one of them was totally drunk and wasted. Fuck this shit I'll finish this later.


Christina N. @ 5:15 PM