Peeping Tom fucking BLEW ME AWAY! It was like an apocalyptic fire pterodactyl fucking me in the ass. Motherfucker, they fucking tore that venue DOWN right from the start when they walked onto the stage. Once Mike Patton walked onstage with two women on his arms, the whole place just blew up like a goddamn hot chili vodka geyser. He instantly sucked in the crowd for the entire show, like linguini. I did get front and center, right in Mike Patton's fucking face. He almost whipped me with the wire as he kneeled down on the speaker and almost hit Amy and I with the mic stand as he threw it off the stage because he didn't need it. Just three feet away from him. Three fucking feet apart from Mike-the-body-of-Narcissus-Patton. I was expecting to at least get a high five or something, being that I was right fucking there. Maybe it's because I kept thinking of Borat saying, "It's-a sexytime! High five!"
During Peeping Tom's set I kept yelling out, "SEXY! SEXY!" at Patton up until one point in between songs he yelled, "WHO SAID THAT? WHO SAID THAT?" as he darted his eyes around and pointed out guys in the audience, thinking it was them because since my voice got hoarse from screaming so much, I sounded like a guy therefore he couldn't figure out who it was yelling all those cat calls at him. Damn, that is just too fucking funny.
He first pointed out a guy who was next to my buddy Amy F. and demanded, "IS IT YOU?" and the guy just sarcastically shrugged and said, "Yes." Mike replied with, "FUCK YOU!" Everyone laughed their asses off at that. Then he pointed out this stoner and said, "IS IT YOU, HIPPIE BOY?" and started commenting on how the dude was stoned off his ass. When he asked the crowd if we were having a good time, he also pointed out this other guy and said "You're only having a good time because someone behind you is humping your ass!"
The crowd pushed so goddamn hard that I had a waffle pattern imprint all over my chest from being pressed onto the fence.
All of the songs were mindblowing, but I have to talk about "Don't Even Trip" because of the "finger salute" that Patton made everybody do. "Your Neighborhood Spaceman" also was fucking spectacular because of all the hilarious shit and gestations.
Amy and I were laughing so much during the whole show. Just Patton's presence and expressions fucking send me through the roof. Not only was he smooooookin' hot as all hell, but not even a single damn person could keep from checking out Imani Coppola too. Damn that chick be bangin'!
In the midst of performing Peeping Tom songs, they also performed "Get Up, Punk!" from one of Mike Patton's other bands, General Patton vs. the X-ecutioners.
The last song that Peeping Tom did was "Sucker," perhaps my favorite song. It was quite the sexy performance.
Dub Trio was also given a couple of chances to solo, and man were they amazing. They weren't agonizing like one of the opening acts, Miho Hatori. I mean, I have to respect Miho, but she seriously just did not do it for me. Nor Amy. We were fucking falling asleep on the barrier, or otherwise dozing off and staring at useless shit and equipment on the walls and stage. They were that bad. I laughed my ass off when Miho said, "This next song.." and then that random loud, obnoxious guy in the back of the crowd screams back, "NO MORE SONGS!"
The crowd was pretty funny, almost as hilarious as Patton himself. They kept yelling out Faith No More and Mr. Bungle song titles and "WOLFMOTHER SUCKS!" However, I think if Patton had heard the crowd yelling that, he would've been fucking pissed off to no end. New York is an odd crowd, I tell ya. Patton even said that the crowd was "too fucking white" after Dan the Automator said "this is quite a good-looking crowd!" Oh man.
I just about died when Peeping Tom came back out for an encore (after me screaming, "GET THE FUCK BACK OUT!"), announcing that Jennifer Charles was here and Lovage performed "Book of the Month"! I was about to fucking JUMP the fence when Dan the Automator said that he also went by the name of "Nathaniel Merriweather," which is his alterego for the band Lovage and that the band was going to play. Shit man, that's like a quadruple ka-pow along with Rahzel and another rapper (who helped out with "Getaway" and "How U Feelin'?") that made a guest appearance. Imani also performed one of her own songs, which was very exceptional. We totally lucked out for this show, since they normally wouldn't have so many guests.
Just before Lovage performed, Patton told the crowd to grab the person next to you and bring them home. I continually yelled, "I'M GONNA BRING YOU HOME, MIKE!" and he looked around, still not able to figure out who was saying that. Funny shit, man.
Meanwhile, Dan the Automator kept pouring out drinks into a stack of plastic cups that he brought onstage. Mike wanted us to go home on a good note and when Rahzel came out during the encore, the band performed "110th Street." It fucking ruled. The show fucking ruled.
After the show officially ended, Amy and I dashed outside to the tourbus to see if Mike would go inside, change, and take autographs, etc. This weird, fucked up guy came up to us and started lighting some type of crack or something and said that he was using us so as the wind won't blow out his lighting it. He was talking about how he couldn't spoon it. No way was it heroin? What the fuck? He then said to us, "Do you guys like each other?" And of course Amy said, "Uh, no." Then we slowly walked away from him as he said, "Awww man, what did I do?"
After an hour of hanging out with some awesome people and Pigeon John (one of the opening acts, who gave us mints, haha), we had to go. The rest of my posse stuck around (still waiting for the band to come out of the building) for 45 minutes and got to meet Rahzel and Dan the Automator. Patton sped off in a taxi cab because the dude was hungry. I'm still pissed off that I didn't stick around to meet Dan and Rahzel, see Patton speed off like a motherfucker nor scout out that damned afterparty in the meatpacking district.
Peeping Tom's tourbus. It's like a big purple dinosaur. Took this as we were about the tenth people on the line.
This is how close I was. Equipment. Wow.
Pigeon John! He was fun to talk to. Friendly guy.
Imani's violin!
Miho Hatori was an excruciatingly agonizing performance. However, she's probably a hundred times better on CD and just isn't a good stage performer. Whatever.
I did like her outfit though.
THE MAN!
He moved so fucking fast that whenever I was about to snap a shot of him, I'd get his back. What can I say? He even has sexy shoulderblades under that bulletproof vest and suit jacket.
Yes, I was that close, bitch! He looked at me a couple times, the longest when he was mostly hidden in the dark and I could see his eyes looking right at me - it was quite the astonishing moment. I couldn't believe it.
Imani Coppola! Fucking stunning as hell. I'd go lesbian for a day or two just to hit that.
Patton doing that hand wave that he always does. He also dribbled his face back and forth like a wild turkey with the microphone a couple of times and Amy and I went fucking berserk because it kicked ass and was fucking hilarious at the same time. Too bad I didn't get a shot of when his face was all funky and fucked up.
Imani
She is also a very talented violin player. First person ever to not bore me with a violin. Now THAT is something.
Photographers were the only people who got in way of my sight. But they eventually dispersed after the first song or so.
I was so close that I could've taken a picture of his nose hairs if I wanted to.
Butterscotch! She fucking blew us away with her beatboxing. She is also the International Women's Beatboxing Champion. Mike Patton has some awesome friends.
Patton whizzing around like a dillydally whackjob again.
Fuck yes! Probably doing the finger salute.
Come to ME!
The band and the crowd doing the finger salute during "Don't Even Trip," I think.
Butterscotch during her solo.
Yeah, baby. Move!
Dan the Automator pouring out drinks. Couldn't even count how many bottles and cups of booze were on that stage.
Dub Trio!
LOVAGE! That just fucking sent me through the roof, considering how much I absolutely go nuts for that band.
It's-a sexytime!
Jennifer Charles. It got really hot on the stage during towards the end of their song and she and Mike almost started grinding. Oh honey.
SEXYBACK!
Perhaps my best picture out of the bunch. Bastard didn't even share drinks!
RAHZEL
Performing "110th Street"
Having posted this, my pictures would probably start circulating all over the internet amongst Patton fans worldwide. Talk about lame fame.
Christina N. @ 2:32 PM
