What the fuck? Faith No More is reuniting? It really feels like a conspiracy, and I'll tell you why:
On Friday I was on Myspace (surprise?), and saw on Peeping Tom's profile (or that I remember, it was one of Patton's quadrillion fucking bands), that a girl posted a comment that was an excerpt from a Metal Hammer article written that day. The article talked about Mike Patton stating during a press conference or press release or whatever the fuck, that besides the new stuff about Tomahawk going on in June, Faith No More is getting back together with a new album and will be touring in Europe and Australia. However, he didn't say who the lineup was going to consist of.
What the flying fuck?? Patton has declared many times that Faith No More will not be reuniting any time at all, and if they were, he would not be singing (He said that about Mr. Bungle. Forgot if he also said that about Faith No More or not, cut me some slack here). What the fuck! Their last album was good, but sucked in comparison to the rest of their repertoire - so this new one, following the trend, could either suck, or could very well possibly be absolutely amazingly apocalyptic - because all of Patton's shit after Faith No More is absolutely phenomenal. I really don't know what to expect. Sort of like the Smashing Pumpkins bullshit, but we all predict and know that it's most likely going to suck balls.
The strangest thing by far, was by the time I wanted to look at that article again the next day, all of the girl's comments including the Faith No More reunion were deleted. So is this all meant to be a surprise? And that they were all deleted to keep it a secret? I feel like as though if I tell any hardcore Patton or Faith No More fan, they wouldn't believe me and would just say that I'm dreaming. I know I dream about those two things a lot, but dude, I fucking swear I saw that shit.
But, on the other hand, knowing Patton's sense of humor, I wouldn't be surprised if he was saying all of this as a joke. The major thing that pisses me off is - FUCKING COME TO AMERICA!!! Jesus fucking Christ, that's where you live, man. And where I am. Sheesh!
This is Mike Patton here, though. Nothing he does sucks. Except maybe that Adult Themes For Voice album. It's almost painful to listen to, actually. Because it's nothing but 45 minutes of him making noises with his mouth. As talented as that is, I can't dig it. Can you believe that? Me not digging something that Mike Patton has done? Okay.
So, my iPod broke. One day it just decides to freeze in the middle of a song (A very good one, that is. You should know by whom already). I then try to press all of the buttons in different combinations and even tried turning it off or holding and unholding it, but it just stayed stuck on the that one screen, lit up by the backlight. What's even more peculiar was that my iPod started self-heating itself up, like a hot potato. It was a fucking heating pad at that point, possibly to put on your vagina or something when you are on your period to alleviate the cramps. It was internally burning itself, and stays that way for a few hours.
I then bring it home to recharge it and see what goes on from there. So I recharge it, it works for a little while, and freezes and does the same thing all over again - this time for even longer. Of course, I recharge it again, pick a song, and it doesn't even play the song and just freezes up until the battery dies. Piece of fucking shit, man. If I take it to get fixed, it would cost $20. From then on, I would probably have to take it to get fixed for the rest of my life for about $20 or more every single goddamn time. In other words, my iPod is like a shitty old car that is unrepairable, and the only smart thing to do is to get a new car and save a bunch of time and money on trying to repair it without any success.
The only logical thing is to get a brand new MP3 player that is not a stupid fucking Apple product and save a shitload of time and money. Hopefully my new player lasts for a number of years, as opposed to my 2-year-old colorless, thick iPod that everybody says is ancient history just because Apple releases new shit every month because their shit absolutely fucking sucks balls. It has also been taken to the Apple Store to get fixed once already, and the warranty just ran out a long time ago. iPods are too fucking delicate and break all the fucking time; we also have to spend so much money on protecting the pieces of shit with those overpriced covers made from leather and sheep colons. So I've been looking for something that has color (Yes, I should get with the times; according to technology time, which is 35 times faster than standard time), stores video, doesn't require steel titanium diamond-encrusted protective covers, blah blah blah. After searching far and wide on the web, I came upon the Zen Creative Vision W - originally $400, but I found it on eBay for $219. The iPod cost about $300.
Fuck yeah!
You could store up to 15,000 songs in it, a shitload of video, tens of thousands of pictures, and other shit that only a bitch could remember. You could even plug it into a TV to show off your videos and pictures and shit. It has a built-in speaker and earphones if you want to be selfish. It has a removable battery and flash slot to put in digital camera memory cards and view them on the player instead of a computer. It has a radio and free podcasts in it. Aaaand a USB port or whatever. Basically, this thing fucking rules. Inititally, I was planning on getting a Zune player for about $190 on eBay. Fuck that shit. Why get that for not much of a price difference when the Vision W does so much more and is compatible with more video types?
Okay I don't think anyone cared about all of that. But I do. Because I'm going to own one, motherfucker!
Lauren and I are going to go see Grindhouse for the last time tonight before it's pulled from theaters. It is going to kick major ass. On the other hand, Lita keeps wanting to go to the mall with me to "pick up hotties." You know what? Fuck that! Fuck the mall and it's populace of dumbfucks and dumb stores. Simon Malls suck. Period. Seriously, that's all she wants to do. Dude, she has a fucking boyfriend, hits on and checks out other guys every ten seconds, and has a crush on at least two other dudes. Are you fucking kidding me? I even told her that she was a shitty girlfriend. Didn't listen to me. No one ever does.
And the other thing is, the Rockaway Mall? And hot guys? Those two things don't go together. She knows I hate the mall. Fuck the mall. Shitty stores and shitty people. Like I said, Lita doesn't listen to me. Also, if I do decide to go with her, I would have to get my mom to drive us. Why? Because I don't have a license yet and Lita has a license and a car, but is too fucking lazy to fill it up with gas even though she gets paid every weekend. Sheesh louise. Telling me to hang out and provide the ride? No thank you.
I've even gone "picking up hotties" with her once, simply because I had nothing else to do. She was the one doing the all "picking up," because every single guy in the area was either lame, or taken. So I didn't give a fuck. And not to mention that I ain't no ho.
Christina N. @ 11:54 AM
