Motherfucker called me four times before 1:00 in the afternoon even came around. I kind of wish I knew some funky language (besides vietnamese because it's totally asian and I am totally asian so he'd know it's me just fucking around) just to confuse the son of a bitch. Maybe I should ask Ilona to speak russian to the idiot so that he'd think it's the wrong number and never call again.
The interview at Mandee didn't go too smoothly. I think the girl liked me and the weekends-only shit overall, but the bad part was that associates usually get $7 an hour. Screw that shit, man. I'll only take the job if they give me at least $8 an hour because I'm tired of this uneven $7.61 Pier 1 crap.
After that, my mom took me to Target to buy something for her friend's new baby, Matthew. I saw this odd toy and fell in love with it. I mean, it's got a fucking pillow for a head. How could I not love it? Seriously, I fucking wanted to own that motherfucker. But at the same time I need to throw away my brick of a cell phone and save up for other more important things. Not that Honk-Honk-Ashoo isn't important, it's just that the Smashing Pumpkins box set is more critical to my well-being.
So we ended up buying the toy for him and none for me. Sucks.
Press his pillow corner and he only speaks a total of three illiterate sayings!
Fuckass, who wouldn't want a dog sleeping on their forehead and covering their pores for eight hours? Because pillows don't get pimples, shithead.
I guess pillows speak english. So the next time you have sex, watch out for what you say because your bed linens know all.
I'd fucking kill to have all those toys.
Christina N. @ 5:27 PM
