Tuesday, June 27
I told you I was bored.
FavouritesMovie: Platoon, because you know I love watching my own people get shot.
TV show: Jackass because I'm probably one of the few who finds that stupid shit hilarious like nothing else.
TV character: Tommy Gavin from Rescue Me, the angry motherfucker whose balls are bigger than the scales at the Supreme Court.
Movie character: the little alien that pops out of the guy's stomach at the breakfast table in Alien
Book: Johnny Got His Gun, the only thing besides onions that make me cry like a goddamn pussy
Literary character: The Stinky Cheese Man
Author: I don't know, Voltaire? Writer, who cares.
Band: Anthrax as of for quite a while, but Smashing Pumpkins are climbing up there. As in legendary god-like persona, it's Led Zeppelin.
Song: Not so sure, but "Free For All" or "Baby Please Don't Go" by Ted Nugent are pretty high up there. Fuck Warrant, man.
Type of music: To be honest, I'm a big fan of speed or thrash metal. Unless you consider both of them the same. I prefer it that way because there's just way too many fucking sub-genres. We all know pussy metal predominantly exists nowadays (Cradle of Filth).
Instrument: Uh, sitar?
Cereal: Cinnamon Toast Crunch, AKA Sugar Chunks
Fast food place: Some speedy Kraft Mac & Cheese would guaranteed have less foreign human hair in it than my local McDonald's restaurant.
Dessert: The fudgiest fucking brownie or chocolatiest fucking thing in the world would do just fine.
Country: Come on, I'm asian. We're too cheap to spend that much on big vacations. No wait, I'd say Ireland because the men from there are quite the nice pieces of prime meat.
City: I don't spend my free time thinking of what my favorite cities are.
Place to travel: Shop Rite
Airline: My family is too cheap to ride the nice airlines, so cannot answer this question.
Shampoo/conditioner: My asian blood allows me to have perfect hair all the time, shithead.
Lotion: Like I give a shit?
Subject in school: history
Teacher: Mr. Adams. The only thing that I clearly remember from his class was him telling us that Benito Mussolini was a kindergarten teacher turned fascist dictator.
State: Definitely not New Jersey. Fuck this place and its angry drivers and shitty music. Yeah, Jon Bon Jovi, that's you.
Football team: I don't get why they have to stop every three seconds to line up again, over and fucking over. Pointless bullshit.
Hockey team: I like hockey, but it's not like I watch any fucking sport on TV anyway.
Athlete: Fuck if I care. Yao Ming? Just because he's probably the tallest asian to ever set foot on this planet.
Sport to play: hockey
Sport to watch: Most Extreme Elimination Challenge is the closest
Fruit: Carson Kressley
Vegetable: Potatoes, motherfucker!
Snack: Nachos and salsa
Restaurant: too many
Grocery store: SHOP RITE, MAN
Have You EverGone on a blind date?: No, my friends are not very good friends enough to help me in the dating department.
Flown in an airplane?: yes
Thrown up on an airplane?: No, I'm not a fucking pussy.
Peed in the shower?: Well yeah, a bathtub is just like a toilet but much bigger and without a flusher. But everything still goes down in the drain. I mean, if I were tall enough and were a dude, I'd pee in the kitchen sink if I had to go that badly.
Peed your pants after you hit double digits?: What the fuck?
Enjoyed Shakespeare?: His shit is fucking lame and overrated. Can't understand a single thing and when spoken, it doesn't sound smooth or romantic at all.
Been to the opera?: Nah, but it is beautiful music.
Been to the theatre?: Who the fuck hasn't? Even me, the movie theatre hater of all movie theatre haters.
Streaked?: No, I don't think so.
Seen a streaker? no
Been mooned?: nope
Stayed in a hospital?: Yes, you think I was delivered in the fucking woods or something?
Been in a major accident?: Yeah, when I was conceived.
Burnt yourself?: probably
Cheated on a boyfriend/girlfriend?: No I wouldn't do that, unless my boyfriend was Axl Rose or something. I mean, look at him. Just kidding, my morals are much better than that.
Lied to get out of trouble?: Ha, you're talking to the fucking master right here.
Started a fire?: To be honest, no. I always think I've done it in the past but can't remember.
Roasted a marshmallow?: No, I don't have much of a privliged life.
RandomsAre you single or dating?: If I were dating, you think I'd have time to fill this out?
If single...do you like anyone?: Sure, who doesn't? If you don't, you are one awkward and angry motherfucker.
--If so, who?: Dude, I like quite a number of dudes. Nothing serious.
--Why?: Doesn't make much of a difference.
--Do you have a chance with them?: Probably, at some point.
Why are you taking this survey?: I'm bored and everyone in this house keeps underestimating my supreme brainpower so I prefer to not speak to them.
What school do you or did you go to?: some shithole
--Do/Did you like it?: Does it seem like I like it?
Your school colours?: ketchup and semen
Your school teams' name?: Scarlet Knights, fucking pussy name.
Ever been on a sports team?: fuck no
--If yes, what was the name of it?: n/a
--Did you enjoy it?: n/a
What do you want to be when you grow up?: James Iha's fuck buddy. Alright, probably a photo journalist. Pretty much what I do right now in here but if I could actually travel and go to concerts or some shit. And you know, not get swamp ass.
--Why?: Because I don't want to be an accountant or a doctor or a pharmacist or someone who does manicures like all you other boring asians.
Any plans for the near future?: Get laid and drink myself to death
What are your views on capital punishment?: Sure, I'm not going to pay taxes for you to rot to death in the same closed environment for eighty more years. That would be mine, and many other lazy people's last resort if we fail at everything else in life, so why not as well go down down that escalator and play poker with Lucifer? But if someone has a mental disorder as opposed to just a cruel and horrible shitkicker, then no, they should not die.
--Nuclear weapons?: Only to inflict fear upon others.
--Euthanasia?: Isn't that a Megadeth song?
--The Canadian government?: Fuck if that's my business.
--The American government?: Corrupt bullshit, whatever.
--The European Union?: Fuck, man.
--The UN?: Ah, whatever.
--Can you tell me who the Secretary General of the UN is?: I'm sorry, but I fail at this.
What was your favourite grade in elementary school?: 2nd
--Why?: I had a wonderful group of friends who were the funniest motherfuckers in the world.
What are you wearing right now?: Navy blue t-shirt and denim shorts.
--Any particular reason why?: Um, because I'm at home and I don't give a flying fuck about what I look like?
What was the last thing you ate?: Vietnamese noodle soup. Pretty much the only extreme asian deed that I have conducted all day besides speaking it.
If you were a crayon, what colour would you be?: Colour? Are we french or some shit all of a sudden?
How are you feeling today?: Narcissistic. The usual.
How many keys are on your keychain?: 2, I don't have many privileges.
--What are they for?: the band that Jim Morrison was a part of
What does the room you're in look like?: Like a hospital room, but with a tad bit more color.
--Do you like the room?: Too small, so no.
Do you own an iPod?: Yes, I fell for that stupid fad.
--If yes, what kind?: The old and bigger 20GB one without color. Oldschool, you say? I say you're a fucking moron.
Do you wear glasses or contacts?: Neither. My eyes are made of pure Vitamin A so I don't need vision correction.
What's your view on laser eye surgery?: As long as you're not afraid of going blind, sure, go ahead, like I care about your vision.
--Would you ever consider it?: I don't need to consider it, fucker.
Weirdest thing about your parents: They talk about poop a lot. But then again that's not too weird, it's just funny.
What did you do this weekend?: I worked.
--Was it enjoyable?: I don't remember, man. I just remember that I worked.
What's your greatest fear?: Walking barefoot in a dirty, dirty, bathroom full of pubes, skin flakes, and piss and dried up menstrual blood on the floor.
Your greatest strength?: My scary, horrendous speaking voice.
What country do you fear the most: Amish Country, I don't care.
Have you ever been in a third-world country?: I've been to Hot Topic, unfortunately.
--Would you ever want to live in one?: That would be the equivalent of ripping myself another clit.
What song do you have stuck in your head right now?: None, thank goodness.
Will poverty ever end?: Fuck no. Then Josef Stalin was a goodhearted man who loved to care for the children of his rich and prosperous land.
--Why or why not?: I just said why.
Will we destroy our own planet?: Maybe, in a couple million years.
--How? Pollution, over-erosion, and excessive use of natural resources faster than it could be created again. We'd all end up dying and it would pretty much be like like what we see in movies where there's a desperate situation going on. I laugh at you fuckers. But then again, I'm using these deadly products and conducting these deadly practices so I should be partly to blame for this.
