As a history buff, I finally find myself defeated. This is the first time that I am absolutely completely stumped at something when it comes to history, man. Because internet research assignents are the dumbest fucking thing in the world, next to shit like Jethro Tull. Flutes will never be cool in any way, shape or form. But anyway, there's nobody around to help me because everyone who actually does their homework goes to bed at 8:30.
If there is one major event in American history that I just cannot stand learning about is the Cuban Missile Crisis. Quite frankly, that hideous movie, Thirteen Days, is what ruined the whole damn thing for me. The only thing that I learned from that movie is that the president has a special assistant, and that Kevin Costner is not from Boston. He can't pull off the accent worth half a shit. He sounds like he's trying to swallow marbles down his throat while assisting JFK at the same time. That is utterly unprofessional.
Speaking of Jethro Tull, I was practically dying in the car when they came on the radio. I was sitting in the backseat so I had no control over the dial, and if I asked my sister to change the station it would take her as long as the song lasts to actually understand what I am trying to ask her. Yeah dude, she's that slow. I once heard from somewhere that a lot of times, the first child is always the brighter one. But oddly enough I probably took all the brains out of my mom so my sister has nothing. That probably explains her lack of speed to think.
But then again that's probably bullshit and I'm probably just talking out of my ass.
Seriously, who the fuck would think that people would actually enjoy and take seriously an entire album with not guitar solos, but flute solos. You've got to be fucking kidding me. It's horrible. Ian Anderson, wake the fuck up and realize that you suck. Your music sucks. Your hair style sucks. Your stage performance sucks. Your flute sucks.
Oh yeah, and then fucking Boston came on. What the fuck was with that DJ? Boston and Jethro Tull in one block? Holy shit, asshole. Oh yeah he even played The Beatles too but I'll spare you my Beatles insults for now. Yeah man I can feel your blood boiling right at this second. Dissing The Beatles is like dissing Jesus. I understand. But everyone makes fun of Keith Richards. Why can't I make fun of how ugly Ringo Starr is?
So Keith Richards just recently fell out of a tree and survived, having suffered a head injury. No wonder everybody makes fun of him. He made a deal with the devil fifteen years ago when he died. That's why he's still hanging around. He's hanging around, literally.
I would really like a new computer. It's about six years old and most of the hardware (printer, speaker system, etc.) is surprisingly able to hook up to it because in about two yours this shit is going to be obsolete to the world. But everyone in their right mind knows that one who makes a living on their asian parents and a weekend job at Pier 1 Imports cannot possibly earn enough in a reasonable amount of time to afford a new computer. No, I'm not like one of those fucks who buy new cars every few months or gets new iPods every holiday or gets a new laptop every year. Cut me some slack here, Bill Gates. Stop thinking about those billions of dollars and make all of your shit compatible with one another so there is no such thing as "obsolete."
Today I went to Target to replenish on some mascara and to use up my cheap ass $20 gift card. A measly Almay mascara, mechanical pencil lead, and the Red Hot Chili Peppers' Blood Sugar Sex Magik fucking costs almost $25 in all. That's lame.
At work it was dead, so I asked Debbie if I could go to Starbucks. She was telling me about how there's this cute guy there who has dark hair and blue eyes, pretty tall. So I go there and he was working. Turns out he's gay. But he was nice eye candy anyway so I forgive him.
I just have to laugh because think of how hard it is for James Iha to get his eyes open like that.
But don't worry, I totally relate.
Christina N. @ 11:19 PM
