Tuesday, March 28
So here's my story. I am again an object of discrimination by someone other than my own cynical ethnic jokes. This bitch is probably, most likely a racist bitch to begin with, added to her Shithead Factor. Jesus fucking Christ.
My mom and I were discussing today about me possibly transferring to a new school next year. There's an administrator who's been talking shit about me to her peers (AKA my teachers) and we've decided that there has just been enough of this fucking harassment. It all started last Wednesday when I was leaving the cafeteria with food to a crowded and extremely slow-moving hallway, so as dumb and impulsively as I acted, yelled out loud, "WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?" Well the administrator was walking closer to me than I thought and heard my loud obscenity. I saw her and immediately said, "I'm sorry." She then proceeded to say something along the lines of, "Please keep such nasty things to yourself. These are Israeli students visiting our school, please have respect for them." In an attempt to ease the tension and anger from the woman, I tried to start casual conversation and said, "People not walking is nasty." She snapped back, "
You're nasty."
And the thing is, I didn't see one single Israeli student. All I saw was familiar faces of whom I knew in my school. Standing in their friend circles, talking and talking, not paying attention to the blood clot of a traffic jam that they were causing to the lunch crowd.
Yeah, I was pissed when that was over, for like not even fifteen minutes. It was done. Caput. I told my mom that an administrator had called me nasty to my face when I got home. She lectured me on how I did wrong and that she didn't agree with the administrator because that was totally fucking immature act on her part for firing back at me with an insult like that, even after my apology. I accepted my fault, learned from my mistake, got over the fact that I was called nasty and life went on. I cpmpletely forgot about the experience from then on.
Until today. My math teacher, my fucking math teacher, asked if I had a minute to speak with her. She told me to sit down, she got closer and said that she'd heard from a teacher/administrator that I've been saying some "pretty rude" things towards this person,
more than once. The administrator was telling her about a certain student who was going around saying unpleasant things and she fucking
used my name to identify who it was. It took me a while to get the drift and understand who my teacher was talking about, and then I got so furious that my face turned red and I was so speechless at how low a bitch of the administrator is, that I was appalled and couldn't explain myself to the math teacher. (I didn't know what I should've said and explained until I sat back down in my seat.) She then went on to say about how shocked she was that such a supposedly nice and polite girl would say that, and how she lost a little bit of respect for me. What the fuck? First of all, why lose respect for someone who did one goddamn mistake and totally took acceptance of their fault and apologized? I fucking learned from that incident. Don't fucking judge me for one goddamn mistake that probably ten million other teenagers have done more than once in their lifetime.
And when you say that you've lost a
little respect for someone, it still goes a long fucking way. You still treat that person with not as much sincerity as before. It's still the same fucking thing. So don't fucking say to me that you've lost "a little respect" for me because I can no longer think of you the same way as I could before.
The only thing I said to her was, knowing who and what she was talking about, "They did the same thing back at me." At the point she recoiled back a little bit, in shock. In shock that I could've just made up such a fierce lie, or that an administrator really did insult me. But overall, the teacher probably doesn't believe me and isn't on my side. Nor will she ever be again for any reason whatsoever.
There was another time when a certain teacher wrote me up for saying something rude to another teacher, something that she had nothing to do with. She wrote on the pink slip something that I did not say. I was forced to apologize to the woman that I had said the words to and the teacher who witnessed the whole thing that wrote up the pink slip got away unscathed, got away with writing something that I did not do or say, got away with lying and making me look worse. I always get fucked over like that in this fucking god-forsaken place.
So the administrator. That fucking dolt of an idiot. I'm fucking dead on serious. What the fuck kind of administrator is she to go around talking shit and lies about me, and directly using my name as a subject of conversation to her co-workers? Enough so much that one of those co-workers would come to me and ask to speak privately with me and "be aware that what you say can be heard by others." First calling me names, now saying bad things about me behind my back, and those bad things being said are lies and stretches? That is just too fucking low. I fucking got over it. She hasn't.
The administrator said to my teacher that I had said these obscenities to her more than once. More than once? What the fuck are you fucking talking about? You're talking about a bunch of bullshit to make me look bad. And the thing is, I don't know who else that she has deliberately told bad about me. What a fucking liar, being immature enough to call me "nasty" when I hadn't directed my obscenity to any specific human being, and now she's going around saying lies about me to her co-workers - An act that is extremely and riculously unprofessional. A fucking administrator - one who should respect their students' privacy, and in addition, just fucking respect them in the first place. She fucking disrespected me by:
1. calling me a name, even from that position of authority and supposed respect that you are supposed to have in that position
2. directly used my name in casual conversation to purposefullly make me look bad, instead of saying, "this student was saying this and that, blah blah blah"
3. made me look even worse by saying that I "did it on more than one occasion to her"
You fucking hypocrite, telling me to "keep such nasty things to yourself," and she goes on around repeating the same shit to others. Yeah, that's definitely keeping nasty things to yourself.
In the professional world you're supposed to get the fuck over it, get your job done, go home, deal with your family, wake up and go on with your fucking life. Not spit back at people with insults and then continuing to drag on the situation behind their backs, deliberately and directly using their name to intend further bad reputation. Using the situation in conversation is just fine, but she just blew this whole thing up into huge proportions by identifying the "obscene" student by their birth name.
What makes things even worse, was that she even spoke about me just a few feet behind my back yesterday. That morning I decided to carry my gym clothes and sneakers in a durable, big fancy French Connection bag because it wouldn't rip like a cheap plastic Shop Rite bag. When she and another male administrator were standing in the hallway, watching as the post-lunch crowd commuted in the halls, I walked by, carrying my big obnoxiously full French Connection bag. She proceeded to sneer right after I passed by her and the other administrator and says, "I hope that bag is for gym clothes." And then says some other shit that I didn't want to hear about me shopping or something.
What the fuck, bitch? When the fuck are you going to stop picking on the fucking tall asian girl who isn't a fucking tool who doesn't get excellent grades and doesn't dress like a fucking cuntrag? Yeah, I'm not the only person in the goddamn school who carries their gym clothes in an expensive store's shopping bag. It was an expensive store that I only shopped once at, and the bag happened to be durable and who the fuck goes out and buys a separate professional bag made specifically for gym clothes? Waste of money, man. Jesus fucking Christ, shut the fuck up and go worry about that tramp walking on your other side who's almost entire unimpressive stomach and ass is being exposed to the world. Leave me the fuck alone and get the fuck over what I did
last week.
This fucking moron needs to be fucking fired, and fucking fired for good. I'm almost positive that I'm not the only one who she has fucked over; there's probably at least one hundred more students in my school who have received the same, if not worse treatment, from her. I want that fucking bitch gone. If not, I want a formal apology from her, to my face. Not some fucking phony letter or second-hand, second person message of apology.
My mother said that she'd take my father to the fucking school tomorrow and get this shit done and over with. She doesn't want me to be walked all over like that, especially by such a conceited dipshit of a bitch. And multiple times too. There was the thing with the attendance and the "inappropriate" t-shirt, other situations where I've been treated unfairly by the same woman, but that would take about another two days to explain. My mom said that she'd ask to the bitch, What's wrong with her? What makes you have such a disliking for her? Is it because she's asian? It it because of her attitude? Is it her voice? Is it the way she dresses? TELL ME.
If she doesn't get a good enough answer or outcome from the adiministration, she'll right out loud suggest, "Fine, give me the papers and Christina from now on will attend another school." We don't need your bullshit.
