Tuesday, March 14
I'm sorry, kids, to disappoint you today.


I. About you
Time started this:: i don't care
Name:: in the eyes of god, that doesn't matter
Age:: boooring
Gender:: chicka chicka
Birthdate:: i share a birthday with harrison ford and patrick stewart, the bald star trek guy. so look it up
Birthplace:: right outside an asian woman's vagina
Current Location:: northern new jersey, where the most dense population of scene kids and simon malls rule the land
Status:: half of two
Height:: 5'7", muthachucka
Weight:: i'm asian it's impossible to weigh much
Body type:: it's fuckable
Eye Color:: poop is brown, so what do you think?
Hair color:: i come from the south pacific, our hair is burnt black
Hair length:: long enough to walk a Glenn Danzig with
Skin(type/color):: yellow
Sexual Preference:: i like cock, thank you very much
Members in your family:: what the fuck are you talking about? i don't know, most of them got lost
Are your parents married/divorced/separated?:: old school asians do not divorce or separate
Are you a citizen of your country?:: if i weren't, i'd have all forms of hepatitis and would be malnourished
Pant size:: 3 - 5
Shoe size:: 7.5
Shirt size:: depends on the fucking shirt
Zodiac sign:: crab cancer
Chinese Zodiac sign:: rattler
Blood Type:: fuck if i know
Do you exercise frequently?:: of course. when i chew the vast amounts of food that i often eat every day
If you're a girl, what is your bra size?:: 32A, i'm sorry boys
Your Measurements:: a clothes hanger
Where do you work?:: pier 1 imports
Do you drive?:: yeah, i drive the boys crazy with my undeniably gorgeous looks


>>>II. This and That about you
Righty/left/either?:: righty is tighty
Sense of Style:: christina-style
Innie/Outtie?: innie
Weird or Unique talents?:: my voice is like isaac hayes but not sexy
Flexible?:: i can reach over the top of the refriderator to get a bag of nachos
Hobbies?:: eating and enjoying the acts of ted nugent
Flirty? Smart? Unique? Trusting?:: kick your ass
Can you roll your tongue?:: no i ain't enrique


>>>III. School
What level of education are you in?:: high school junior
What was your high school name?:: san quentin
Colors/mascot:: red and white just like the place we would eventually end up in - the hospital
If in college, what are you majoring in?:: being racially discriminated
Are you going to prom/or have been?:: the prom bid is worth a few full-course meals at the olive garden, shithead. fuck that shit
Favorite school subject:: history
least favorite:: 2 + 2 = 5
Fave school pastime:: when i had long bangs i was able to sleep while sitting up
Clubs/Activities/Sports:: if there were ever such thing as a history club where we got to reenact civil war battles, i'm joining in a second
Graduating Class:: booooring
Public school/Private?:: pubic with an l somewhere in there
Where do you see yourself 5 years from now, academically?:: the one person in the world who knows the most about the history of hitler's mustache


>>>IV. Right now/At this very moment
How are you feeling?:: irritated at how much you suck at making up surveys
What color are your nails?:: sure as hell aren't emo black
Are you sick?:: in a psychological sense, yes sir
Hair up/down?:: d-d-d-down
Color of your socks:: the color of the inside of a klondike bar
Pants:: house pants that no one other than my family is supposed to see me in
Underwear/bra:: i don't wear bras at home, dude. i gotta give them room to grow
Makeup on?:: yah mon
Full stomach or Empty?:: full of rice krispy treats
What should you be doing right now, anyways?:: in my homeland i should be cooking dinner for my family of sixteen brothers and sisters
What kind of cell phone service are you using?:: catherine zeta-jones
Do you have any pets? i don't clean anybody's poop except mine by flushing it down the toilet
Are you in love, right now?:: i love you with all my heart, Mr. Rice Krispy Treat Box


>>>V. Favorites
Color:: green
Food:: brownies
Drink:: hot fudge from the pot
Candy:: eye candy
Flavor:: chocolate and guys
Movie:: platoon, man
Show:: jackass
Game:: six degrees of separation from kevin bacon
Music type:: the type that doesn't stink like panty residue
Actor/Actress:: al pacino/juliette lewis
Month:: may
Shampoo/Conditioner:: dove extra volume
Number:: fuck math
Phrase:: sTfU b1tCh!!1!1
Word:: denisleary
Magazine:: elevator world
Restaurant:: hershey park
Animal:: tommy lee's little fireman
Language:: scheisskopf
Girls name:: our names suck balls
Boys Name:: duff
Flower:: the kind made of icing that goes on cake
Thing to get at starbucks:: mocha frappuchino or marble macchiato or some shit
Holiday:: lunch ladies' week
Brand Name:: Jack Links' beef jerky
Clothing store:: anthropologie
Article of clothing:: i love all my children equally
Shoes:: shirts matter more


>>>VI. Friends
Are you a good friend?:: yes, if you don't care about them all that much then why consider them a friend?
Do you have good friends? How many?:: i'm a fucking asshole, of course i don't have many
Your best friend:: shaina
Do you have a lot of friends?:: the rolling stones are my friends, they just don't know it yet
Has anyone told you, you were a good friend?:: way back when i can't remember
Do you talk a lot?:: when i'm in the right mood, i talk as much as howard stern could
Are you nervous when people talk to you?:: usually, depends on who
Funniest Friend:: myself
Craziest Friend:: myself
Most Secretive:: i don't give a shit
Hottest friend:: myself
Nicest:: myself
Meanest:: myself all the way
Smartest:: myself
Dumbest:: they wouldn't be my friend
Most unique:: i don't fucking care
Do you have alot of friends or close small group of friends?: wasting my time
Do you believe in love at first sight?: yeah, bash me if you want but it won't do shit
Would you love someone of a different religion?: why would that fucking matter? unless they're in the Church of Michael Bolton, i'll beat their ass senseless
Race?: speed racer fucking owns
Do you have a crush? Who?: myself


>>>VIII. For or against
Democratic views?: dude, i don't care about that shit
Republican views?: do i care?
Racism: as much as i support bret michaels and rikki rockett
Death Penalty: yes. the taxes that i'm paying for inmates could now be used to buy more pants
Abortion: we all die eventually, some earlier than others. oh boy that was rude.
Rules/Regulations: depends on what rules and regulations, numbnut
Gay marriage: sure. i love happy people
Underage Smoking or smoking in general: doesn't matter, you don't get high and beat your wife. it's okay.
Marijuana: sure, since this law is just like the prohibition in the '20s, everybody does it anyway
Drunk Driving: fuck no man, you might be running into the ice cream man, or the wonderbread truck. you know how much that breaks my heart
Illegal immigrants: what do you think i'm a fucking result of?
Premarital sex?: sure, otherwise everyone would be really bitter right now
Religion in Gov: no, man.
Downloading Music: fuck you metallica. grow your hair back.
Welfare: sure
Long distant relationships: depends, son
Blind dates: ok, if you're desperate or have that much free time on your hands
Arranged marriages: fuck no


>>>IX. This or That
Big/small:: mr. big
Cat/dog:: catdog
Chocolate/Vanilla:: choco-choco-chocolate
Sunset/Sunrise:: i don't want to be no stevie wonder, so i don't pay attention
Rainy/Sunny:: sunny
Starbucks/Jamba Juice:: i've never seen a jamba juice in my life. thanks, east coast
Pepsi/Coke:: pepsi i like it super-saturated with a gallon of sugar in every can
Smoke/Alcohol:: drinky dinky not really
Pulp/None:: NO PULP. who knows what it really could be
Black/White:: i ain't no racist motherfucker
Sun/Moon:: sun, because the moon is too small and it isn't really cheese. what a fucking ripoff
Night/Day:: either, i'm an all day type of person
Fall/Winter:: i don't like freezing my ass
Spring/Summer:: spring
Scary/Comedy:: comedy
Work/School:: eat
Hugs/Kisses:: both please
Fruits/Vegatables:: meat
Salty/Sweet:: warheads
Love/hate:: indifference
Extremely Early/Extremely Late:: extremely late
Fireworks/Glowsticks:: fireworks because unlike glowsticks they actually could blow your next door neighbor's dog off
Urban/Suburban:: haven't lived in the citay yet
City Life/Rural Life:: i haven't experienced the hick life yet
books/magazine:: feminine health pamphlets
Silence/noise:: blue oyster cult
Large Parties/Small get togethers:: either, as long as there are no party poopers
Liberal/Conservative:: liberative conserveral


>>>XI. In the opposite sex (or same sex)..Preferred:
Height:: at least an inch taller than i
Weight:: not a fat fuck or a skinny prick
Ethnicity:: i have an irishmen fetish but all sort of hot ass are a-ok with me
Eye color/Hair color:: green eyes, any shade of hair that isn't wrongly dyed is just fine
Looks before personality?:: it depends
Different from you?:: depends on if we click or not
Smoker/Drinker/drug abuser?:: depends, but this survey is way too goddamn long to explain


Numerical Answers (how many) fuck numbers i don't do numbers
times You've been in love?:: i have been in love with many a food
Bf/Gfs you've had?:: j. lo ain't got shit on me
Scars on your body?:: let's just say that i once fucked edward scissorhands
Suspended?:: nope, i've been good
in detention?:: quite a few times
Piercings/tattoos?:: ears
Been kissed today:: no
Been hugged today:: no
Been drunk:: once, in disney world
High?:: i'm fucking locked in the house, what do you think?
Clubbing:: see above
Been emotionally or physically hurt/abused:: how the fuck do you think i turned out like this
times you've gotten into a car accident:: none, thank goodness
kids do you have:: i'm on birth control, otherwise i'd have about 26
Purses you own:: 8 or 9
pairs of shoes:: i don't keep track of that shit
pants:: about 10
underwear:: i don't count that shit i just pile it up in my drawer until it gets holes in it
times you've danced in the rain:: i hate rain
secret admirers do you have?:: how the hell am i supposed to know if they're called secret admirers?
Thought about suicide?:: who the fuck doesn't. i mean, we live in a world with hawthorne heights


>>>Last thing/time/person
Person you called:: fuck if i know
Who called you:: i can't remember
Hugged:: a dude
Kissed:: that male hooker who charged me a lame $500, stupid fucker
said I love you to:: tickle me elmo
Thing you said:: "shove it up your ass"
thing you ate:: rice krispy treats
thing you drank:: water
did?:: ate dinna
time you exercised:: when that stupid shithead of a school forced me to play volleyball with a crew of retards
thing someone got you: dude, i seriously cannot remember
got angry at:: my dad for asking redundant questions that i just answered to a second ago. he repeats it for five times
Last song you heard:: "jocko homo" by devo
movie you've seen/watched:: where the truth lies with KEVIN BACONNN
been to church:: i went there for free food and vietnamese lessons when i was younger, everybody was a fucking loser
got drunk:: like i'm even allowed to leave the house?
stoned:: what did i just say
person you smoked with:: come on, shithead
chatted online with:: erica
bought a gift for: christmas was a long time ago, pal
place you went:: the bathroom
person you liked:: some dude, durrr
loved:: myself
hated:: people who like musicals
last embarrassing moment:: when i told my mom one of my famous "fuck you you fucking shitface" stories over dinner tonight
Happiest moment:: there are no such things
went to the beach:: i don't like getting sand stuck in my asscrack, so i don't go to the beach
last thing youve done something crazy:: you need to re-word that sentence correctly before i could answer it


>>>Have you ever:
Skinny dipped:: no, because i'm OCD
Played stripped poker:: it is "strip poker" if so i recall
Been drunk:: been asked already, dumbfuck
to a Wedding? How many times?:: quite a few times, everybody is a fucking prick who looks bad in a dress
Been married?:: yeah, like married people take the time to fill out one of these pieces of shit
Divorced? Widowed?:: you could answer this question in the one above. this was pointless
Been abused?:: by the wind, because nobody pushes me around harder than that shit does
Raped?:: if i'd been raped i'd probably be in juvy right now from being emotionally distraught and having just ripped a boy's balls off with greasy barbecue tongs just for winking at me


Christina N. @ 8:32 PM