Sunday, March 5
Oh man, my throat hurts. I was just at Lauren's house and we were watching the entire series of Jackass on DVD and I just fucking laughed my ass off for two and a half hours straight. She was totally freaking out but I looked like I was in cardiac arrest; I tend to laugh too hard and too much at the littlest things. It burns the calories off. Have you ever seen a fat person laugh a lot? No. That's why they're fat.

The greatest part was when Raab Himself was taking a shit on the side of the road, naked while reading a newspaper. Pansies with no balls and weak stomachs may find it appalling but I find it pretty fucking hilarious. If it was Chris Pontius and his hairy ass, then maybe I'd reconsider the laugh factor. We see his ass so many times in that series that it might drive one to go on an ass fasting.

This was not initially a social outgoing. We were supposed to do a project where we're supposed watch two movies. The good one that we really wanted to watch was all taken out from Blockbuster, and the shitty one was the only one she could find but we didn't bother watching it because it's shitty.

So the most gorgeous man applied for a job at Pier 1 today. I'm fucking in love, man. I was chit-chatting with two of my co-workers while one was helping a line of people at the register. I saw him waiting and looking a little irritated but then I asked him for help and he smiled the greatest fucking smile in the world and asked if we were hiring. I said yes and got him an application and a job description binder and he did that smile again. And then I went to my managers and begged for them to hire that hunk of ass.

I'm hitting that shit someday, I fucking swear. I swear to you he is going to get hired and I am going to tap that ass. That is, if he isn't gay. Man, that would just totally ruin it all.


Christina N. @ 8:54 PM