Sunday, January 29
Wisdom teeth are coming out this Saturday. Shit, son. Depending on how my body reacts to the surgery, I'll be out of school for a number of days. Shaina and I were just talking a while ago and thought it would be fucking kick ass for me to go to the library beforehand and take out a shitload of Goosebumps books so that if my face isn't so swollen enough, I'd be able to see, therefore read them and laugh my fucking ass off at them during my time of pain. Oh man, I remember when those books were such a major hit. Fucking R.L. Stine and that goddamn mole in the middle of his forehead. Why is it that most horror authors are butt-fucking-ugly? Holy shit, Stephen King was the king of horror novels, and he was also the king of fugly.

I'm going to regret posting a picture of him in probably ten minutes, but the way that I worded that last paragraph just screams for a picture of that ugly motherfucker.

FUG

That picture is the equivalent of five hours-worth of airbrushing and light-adjustments. If you've seen him as a commentator on BravoTV's 100 Scariest Movies of All Time list, then your insides would be like butter right now, and your stomach would be screaming in agony from the fug that you've seen.

Lauren came over at around 5:00PM today to work on biology bullshit. It was cool, we ate Cinnamon Toast Crunch for dinner and watched Comedy Central and The Ref on AMC. All the while she had control of the remote and watched Stephen Lynch and Wild n' Out, I was sitting in front of the computer doing all the work. I actually wanted to, because I can't stand when people make up messy computer documents. It drives me fucking nuts and I have the document made to perfection.

Yeah man, I don't like Stephen Lynch. He's funny at some parts, but overall he's an annoying pain in the ass and needs to go in other directions. A good guitar player indeed, but what he was playing sounded too serious and didn't really go with the lyrics in his comedic songs. Or at least that's just my opinion. She, on the other hand, fucking loves the man.

I don't need to rag on Wild n' Out because that'll take about another ten paragraphs of disses and insults. Especially about Diana Ross' daughter, the one with the eyes the size of 20-year-old hemmorhoids.

But then Mitch Hedberg was on. Holy shit, it was fucking great. He also happens to be pretty fucking bangin and I'm probably the only person who thinks that. I mean, if you haven't noticed, if a guy has long hair and wears aviators, I'd totally want to hit that shit. So basically if there was another me without any tits and has a large penis, I'd most likely want to fuck myself.

He ain't that shabby.

I laughed too hard during his half hour on TV, that I can't quote anything right now because I can't fucking remember anything, except for the escalator/stairs. All I remember is laughing so wide that the sides of my face started hurting. All I needed was some Denis Leary and my day would've been complete. But no, Comedy Central is fucking biased and only showed episodes of Comedy Central Presents, which I don't think he was ever on. Probably not, because he'd spit out as much "fucks" as I would on a day where my head is up in my ass and I'd be angry at everyone. Or to simply put it, a day where my moodswings won't swing down to stable condition.


Christina N. @ 11:34 AM