Monday, January 30
Sometimes I really need to keep my mouth shut. I know, most of the time I ain't no talker but sometimes when I'm yapping away like a motherfucker, it goes all wrong. I was sitting with my friend today in gym and then this fat chunk of a human being comes along and starts whoring herself to the teachers. A little bit too loudly, while sitting right behind the girl's friends, I said that she's fucking lame and is a fat bitch who needs to put some clothes on. It's fucking winter and she's wearing a loose-fitting school tank top. Her arms are as big as an overweight bear's. Well, one of her friends heard and turned around and looked totally shocked. It was then that I knew I should shut the fuck up. At least I know when to shut the fuck up, unlike the girl who I was talking about. I'd known her since elementary school and she's still the biggest dumbfuck ever. Literally big, too.

Call me the biggest bitch of the century, but I rather think I'm just being the honest person of the century. In a negative way, yes. Is this the height of self-indulgence next to Paris Hilton wearing a placemat and dancing on Fat Joe's ass at Diddy's birthday party? Most likely.

My mom and I went to the bank after school today and while she was being slow and shit, I walked to the entrance ahead of her. Right in front of the fucking door, there's a crumpled ten dollar bill on the ground. I stood there for like three seconds saying, "Holy shit" in my mind and dude, it was fucking amazing. Ten bucks on the ground with nobody around to claim. Stupid shithead, it's mine now.

When my mom came to the door, I tried to open it and then we found out that the bank fucking closed at 3:00. I get out of school at 3:03 for some dumb reason that not even Nostradamus could figure out why. When I turn away from the door, about to walk back to the car, I see this big lady with obnoxiously dyed red hair in a car waiting in line for the window banker, with her car window rolled all the way down, head turned right at me and staring like I had a black head growing out of my ass. Bitch, you're just jealous of me picking up ten dollars off the ground because if you'd been the one who found it, all your fucking rolls would be in the way and you'd be incapable of bending over.


Christina N. @ 6:15 PM