Sunday, January 15
Man, I have to measure hominid skulls and write a 7-page paper to write for homework. I'd rather go to a Tom Jones concert and boogie with 50-year-olds. I seriously would. What's new, pussycat? Whoa whoa whoa whoa whoooooa.

One thing that I would not fucking do is listen to that shitty band called Europe. Like that famous quote which I've forgotten who it's by, "all bands that have a geographical name suck." It's really true. Asia, Europe, Boston, Kansas, America - all shittier than your ass after five weeks without wiping. The only swedish band that I could think of that aren't too shabby are The Hives. No idea where they are nowadays, but they ain't bad. Europe, on the other hand, is. Not in the "bad" sense that Michael Little Boy Lover Jackson puts it. If you've never heard the song "The Final Countdown," consider yourself luckier than Heather Locklear. Because who the fuck doesn't want to be Heather Locklear?

Here is Joey Tempest. Frontman of Europe. Gay? I very much think so. Close friend of Richard Simmons? Most likely.

Jesus Christ, not even Jon Bon Jovi's hair was this bad. Not to mention that Jon Bon Jovi never attempted the "my face looks like a menstruating Wolverine" thing either. Or at least out of my own knowledge he never attempted that.

I used to stay up for hours at night tossing and turning in agony because "The Final Countdown" was stuck in my head. The only other two bands that almost beat that record were Maroon 5 and The Black Eyed Peas. Yeah, you fucking pee-in-your-pants-er, Fergie. Fergie sucks. Period.

There's this new show on HGTV called ReDesign, hosted by a young man named Kenneth Brown. My mom enjoys the show very much because she is an asian homemaker who has an asshole for an oldest daughter. Kenneth Brown very much resembles a dearly beloved musician. A dearly beloved musician named John Denver.

Kenneth Brown. Interior design extraordinaire.

John Denver. Sunshine on his shoulder makes him happy.

My parents owned one of his cassettes. One day while they were cleaning out some of their music collection, they said I could take whatever I wanted. I decided to take the two Beatles cassettes. What happened to the John Denver and Billy Ray Cyrus tapes? No fucking idea. But I really wish I took them too. My heart is now an achy breaky heart.

Today I actually worked for only six hours, which was a nice relief. I didn't have to work my nonsensical flex shift, so I had sort of a 4-hour break between my actual shift and the store meeting. The store meeting that started at 7:00 was pretty fun for the first hour, but then the second hour totally sucked balls because everybody had to walk around to different bedsets and listen to the manager talk about policies and all that exciting fantastic bullshit. But it's important bullshit so I listened anyway. While looking at my new shoes.


Christina N. @ 10:50 PM