Thursday, January 5
I downloaded ABBA onto my iPod. Life is good.

Ever since David Lee Roth started as the new replacement for Howard Stern, I've been trying to turn it into my morning ritual. It failed because I stole my sister's radio and it died on me the second day. I haven't touched it since. And to be quite honest, I don't know if it's broken or not; Because it just could've been the outlet that failed.

I've been putting on the pounds, something I hate to admit but the first step to solving a problem is admitting that you have a godddamn problem. That is some advice for you fucking emo kids out there, and for those of you who think Hawthorne Heights is worthy of playing a Freddie Mercury tribute concert with George Michael. Tom Jones could make it, I'm positive. But anyway, people say that a girl tends to eat a lot when she's depressed. Fuck no, man. The day when I am depressed is the day that Jean Claude Van Damme wins an Oscar for the leading role in Deliverance II. It's in my blood; I was born to pig out. It's just that this thing called "maturing into an adult" is getting in my way. As you get older, not a child anymore, your metabolism tends to slow down.

Last night while I was in the shower I was thinking of Jon Lovitz.

Reporter for Full Frontal Fashion: "Are you a model?"
Jon Lovitz: "Yes, a pear-shaped model."

I just fucking laughed my ass off when first seeing that. Now I still think it's funny, but I don't laugh anymore because I tell it too often. He was in The Brave Little Toaster, starring as our beloved brave little toaster. I remember crying during that movie when I was two years old. I fucking swear, it's a heart-wrenching film.

Can you count how many trucks are in this picture?

Hell yeah, man.


Christina N. @ 7:12 PM