Monday, December 5
What do you call a chicken that was too afraid to cross the road? A chicken.

That wins the Chuck Norris Award for Cheesiest Joke of the Century. Not to Christina who made it up, but just to it itself. Yeah man, I'm on a roll today for corny jokes.

On Saturday I bought a twenty-fucking-three dollar tube of Chanel mascara, and this morning I put on too much so towards the middle of the day, as I blinked more, it got stuck underneath my eyes, where my under-eye circles would be. So I looked like one of those stupid fucking lame "goth 1'M hardXcore!!1!" chicks that I see prancing their turkey asses wrapped in bondage pants all over this shitsome town of Rockaway. I was pretty ashamed of myself for not even a second, because after that, while in the bathroom, I fucking thought it was funny. Hey, if I look like a jackass with too much black stuff under my eyes, they do too.

I wasn't expecting today to be so cold, so I just wore my long wool coat without any gloves or a scarf. Turns out I pulled a slut. Pulled a slut as in not wearing ample articles of clothing to keep you warm. I'd been wearing that coat since seventh grade, and the pockets are so fucked up that my mom had to fix them with plaid green patches. They're so fucked up, but at least I'm lucky that it's the kind of normal pocket that's hidden. Overall, the garment still looks pretty good.

Watched The Boondock Saints on Saturday after getting home from six hours of working and four hours of shopping. I have to say, that movie is fucking overrated. The story is just like a typical action film, but any film has the possibility of being fucking amazing with a simple storyline; It's just that the movie had some great concepts and parts, but once the fucking great part reaches its climax, it's fucking put to a halt and immediately jumps to another scene - totally disappointing me. This has happened a many number of times during the movie, and it sort of pissed me off. Some of the acting was so corny that it wasn't even the good type of corny, like those Chuck Norris or Bruce Campbell films, and no, not Steven Seagal because he's bad corny. And please, Willem Dafoe, choose your movie scripts wisely. I've been dying for a decent movie where you aren't dressed up as a soldier. (i.e. Platoon, Clear and Present Danger)

Did I tell you kids about how I almost went on a date on Saturday? At work I was talking to one of my male co-workers and the different places to eat where the plaza that our Pier 1 Imports is located at. He asked if I ever at ate the italian restaurant Bensi. I said no I never did and he said he never did either. So while he was asking me if we could both go out and eat there after work, he stopped in mid sentence, having just remembered that I got out of work approximately six hours before he did. Man, were we both disappointed. And this week we aren't working on the same days.


Christina N. @ 7:15 PM