Tuesday, November 29
Has anyone ever heard of that thing where celebrities call your house like a telemarketer and tell you to go shop? They've advertised this on TV, showing Heidi Klum and Kermit the Frog and mentioning Terrell Williams and some other folk that I can't remember. Well Terrell Williams called my house yesterday and it was the funniest fucking thing in the world. So the phone rings, I'm pissed that it's interrupting me because I was discussing something with my mom, and was planning on telling the telemarketer to go screw themself with a steel-toe fireman's boot once they let me know that they are a goddamn telemarketer. But the unexpected happened. Instead, I heard the blackest most fucking peculiar accent most stereotypical "I'm a football player and my brain is the size of my steroid-influenced testicles" ever, saying, "Hello, this is Terrell Williams calling. May I speak to Dennis?" I was too shocked and freaked out and pulled a shithead, by saying that none of my parents were home and hung up. Man, I could've asked him about the Superbowl Shuffle and why the Chicago Bears would participate in such a horrendous single. That is, I think he was involved in the Superbowl Shuffle. Do you really think I'd know these things?

I ruined a once-in-a-lifetime chance. And I thought asians were supposed to be smart.


"Daaaaaaaaaayum, you dat stupid?!"

Shop smart. Shop S-Mart.


Christina N. @ 9:31 PM