Monday, November 21
French fries sucked today. I was purely disappointed. For the second batch that I bought, which were curly fries, they fucking sucked too. And the lunch lady didn't even fucking put that many on the dish. They sucked because they weren't that hot, but they were pretty decent overall. With fifty cents left I couldn't buy anything. Fuck this shit, man. Fifty cents back in the day would've gotten me a goddamn bag of chips. Right now it's not even worth a fat stinking whore.

So I found a rip in my leather jacket. Man was I pissed. It'll be about a month or two until I could earn enough money to buy a new, quality one. Unless someone is willing to take me to the Salvation Army so I could get five old, worn ones.

Work yesterday was good because it was busy all day and I didn't have to walk back and forth with the fucking mint basket to hand out to nobody because no customers came in. Instead, the store was as congested as Anna Nicole's arteries not-too-long-ago so I just constantly helped customers, handed out candy and did register.

Yeah man, for some reason my manager always puts me in the front of the store where customers come in and make me greet them and smile a fucking toothpaste commercial smile and for the holiday season walk around with a basket of mints and offer them to people. Hard to imagine, but that's a big part of my job. I think I might be the official Door Greeter from now on.

It's not a hard thing because I don't know anybody, the majority of the customers are middle-aged women and aren't the stupid "hardxcore" kids that "be cool" at the mall every fucking day after they get out of school, so I can't scoff at anybody and tell them to get the fuck out of my way. And plus they don't give me nasty looks like folks at The Learning Institute of Finer Education for some reason beyond my knowledge, which is a very comforting thing. Maybe it's because I'm asian and I'm yellow that the folks at The Learning Institute of Finer Education tend to observe me like a poor black child at a rich white man's wedding. It's because I'm a slave, you fucking idiot.

I watched that Chevy Chase and Dan Akyroyd movie, Spies Like Us, this weekend and man did I fucking laugh my ass off. If there is one man who has made me laugh at anytime during his long-ass career, it is Chevy Chase. I mean, that man has a fucking street named after him - Chevy Chase Boulevard, in Los Angeles. Believe me, fucker, I've been on that street and it's nearby Rodeo Drive, I think. He might even have a bank or a few named after him (Chevy Chase Bank), because not only is he worth millions of laughs at the box office, but in dollars too. I'm not talking about Chase Bank, but I fucking swear I've seen one or two banks in my lifetime that have signs indicating the name "Chevy Chase Bank."


Christina N. @ 5:52 PM