Monday, November 14
Do not look up Jeff Goldblum in Google Images. I repeat: Do not look up Jeff Goldblum in Google Images. I was talking to Shaina on the phone and somehow the Jurassic Park series came up in conversation and then Jeff Goldblum, being that he was in the third one for you fools who don't know, and since I was on the computer at the same time, thought I'd look up pictures of him just for shits and giggles. Turns out it was just for shits.

By me mentioning this and the horrible pain that I endured by it, you're probably going to do it too. That was my intention, to cause you pain. And by the way, I fucking hate Jurassic Park and all of its shitty sequels. And I hate Jeff Goldblum too. He was never sexy in any way, shape or form. That is, if he ever changed into the shape and form of Denis Leary, I might reconsider.

Today was pretty alright, the four-day weekend went by really fast. Except when I got home, my mom immediately made me change the water tank which just set my trigger off for the rest of the time until I go to sleep tonight. But I'm pretty fine now, because we just talked about sea cucumbers and turkeys and Heineken over dinner.

Out of the many things that I regret throughout my life, one of them was being a treehugger.

Observe.

Hearts and flowers and no socks, man. Didn't like that my parents used such hazardous chemicals to put that floor together, though. What really makes me look stupid is that the tree, not even the spanish moss, isn't real. I really think Don Johnson and Philip Michael Thomas would be exceptionally proud of my slip-ons and lack of socks.


Christina N. @ 7:10 PM