Saturday, October 29
Work sucks balls. But it's life. And it's money. A lot of my coworkers are super nice and then there's the number that are bigger assholes than that of residing on Axl Rose's bum. I don't know why that is, but I'm guessing that I'm about half a foot taller than everyone for some reason, except for my manager who's a dude and the two other dudes who work there too, and somehow they are intimidated by that. But then again, I've only worked for two days in my entire sad life so once I start to know what I'm doing it'll probably get better. And more tedious, probably. Because the faster you get shit done, the more free time to walk around and puff pillows.

I am also the last person on Earth to have just gotten a cell phone for just this purpose. If you want the number, just instant message me on AIM.

Today I worked for eight goddamn hours and on my only thirty-minute break sat on a bench outside in forty degree weather in a too-small-for-me shearling-lined jacket in the glaring sun and ate a cold-as-Jeff-Goldblum's-balls Philly cheesesteak that my mom had made for me. I then decided that I needed some sort of kick that wasn't exactly drugs so I went to Starbucks and spent about half of all the money I had left until I got my first paycheck; which was about eleven dollars.

There was this dorky looking prick sitting two tables in front of me, and I enjoyed watching him because he looks like that ugly delinquent prick son in that Denis Leary movie, The Ref. Yeah, that one with the stupid flip above his forehead like Big Bob's Boy, but not so puffy. For some reason I enjoy watching morons, because for once I'm not watching myself.

Goddamn it, I fucking hate Jeff Goldblum. If he keeps on doing that stupid stare, someday his eyes are going to turn into optical yo-yo's. As in popping out of his head. I was once searching for pictures of him on Google to make fun of him but then I got kicked in the ass - there was a nude picture of him and my eyes felt like Steven Seagal had just grabbed my skull, wearing his size 50 leather work boots and smashed three Roman candles into both of my eyes.


Christina N. @ 8:41 PM