Wednesday, September 14
Did I ever tell you that I hate rain? Well right now I'm despising it more than I despise Gwar. I've had many bad experiences with water and today was another edition to my thousand-volume series of bad water experiences. First of all, there's a numerous many times when I choke on water, whether someone is suddenly yelling at me while I'm drinking out of a cup or if I just choke on spit for no apparent reason. That makes up for more than half of my bad water experiences.
By some stupid fucker's decision, it rained this afternoon, and I solemnly swear, the second I stepped out of school to until I was four houses away from home, it rained like a thousand-foot-wide-in-diameter shower douche dumped Victoria Falls on Rockaway Township. Just for me. Even worse was that I didn't wait until it stopped to go on walking home (because the day was shitty already, I wanted to get the fuck out of there) and just decided to wing it and walk straight though, thinking it was just light to moderate rain. But once I got by the tennis courts the aforementioned douche took place of the pussy squirt gun. I was clearly fucked for sure.
All I hear is girls screaming about how their hair is ruined and begging their boyfriends to take them into their cars and drive home, but I couldn't find a single person whom I knew who had a car. Pretty much half of the parking lot was empty, or so it seemed like it. The rain was so bad that I had to cover my eyes like you would shade them from the sun, just to be able to see. Soon enough, my white, one layered shirt started soaking through and you could see my beautiful rock-hard abs.
At the corner of my street there was this woman holding a multi-colored umbrella probably waiting for her child's bus to come drop her child off. From the moment she saw me walking up the hill and crossing the street, she didn't keep her eyes off of me, like I was some fucking freak. Her dryness and my clothed-showerness. Way to make someone feel comfortable. It's either one of those types of things like if someone has a huge tumor protruding out the back of their head and you just can't stop staring at it, or I am really that sexy when I'm wet. I hope it isn't the second option because I can't even get a date and now I've got lesbians checking me out. I'm not Ellen Degeneres, you fucking dyke.
I didn't look at her directly in her face because I was worrying too much about my books, and you know how I am when it comes to neat books and office supplies and shit. I'm crazy over organization. Had I carried a giant, bulky waterproof backpack, then I would've thrown it on the ground and wasted a couple of well-wasted minutes fixing her eye problem.
While walking past the house that was next to my house, to my final
dry destination, my neighbor fucking calls to me from her window and says some jibber-jabber that I didn't want to hear, so I didn't hear and just waved hello super quick without saying a word because by that time not only was I ready to bust some caps, but to beat the shit out of anyone who owned a carwash. Yes, I know she was being friendly but surely enough she should've sort of known that if someone is walking outside in the rain without a waterproof bag and no jacket or hat or anything, and with their tail between their legs, they're probably having a miserable time.
By the time I got home and looked at the mess in the mirror, I discovered that my eyes were pot-shot red - first time it ever happened from water in my life. Obviously it would happen, because how could it not happen when gallons of acidic water are being gouged into your eye sockets? After having a hard time getting my clothes off and changing into something dry, I walk to the hamper and find somebody's period-stained jeans on top of it. Sadly enough, I had to move it away with my bare hand in order to lift the hamper lid and dump my soggy outfit into it. Way to help my germophobia.
When I was about to turn the corner and go into my room, I see my sister suddenly running out of my door. As any person in a Denis Leary mood would say, I said in my low Terminator-shoot-your-fucking-ass voice, "What are you doing in my room?" I forgot what she said but from the living room my mom yells, "LET HER USE YOUR WHITEOUT!" And I'm pretty positive that I specifically gave her one some time ago.
What both of them did, was pretty rude in my view. My sister for ever since she was able to walk, when I'm not around or not at home, would go into my room and fish through my drawers and private stuff for what reason? I don't know. And when she found something she really liked she would go up to my mom and asked if she could keep it, and usually got her way after a huge hissyfit between me and my mother that I always lost at.
After all of this I should probably blame myself. Yesterday when I was watching the weather they said possibility of afternoon showers, and considered bringing along an umbrella. But this morning they said warm and pleasant. So no umbrella. Or at least I wish. They might've said it this morning but I was probably too lazy and yet they probably could've been wrong. This was the fourth or so time out of my many years of watching the weather that the afternoon showers actually came to be.
I'm sort of glad that Rescue Me isn't going to be on again until spring of 2006, or else I would be crappy like this every day. But every time when I turn around and look at my fucking five-subject notebook on my table since I got home, I get pissed off all over again. Last night's episode just had a shitload of shit going for it. Including my life, as you could see. This morning when walking into the bathroom, I see someone's period-stained undies in the bathtub. Gross. This afternoon when getting home and walking into the bathroom, I see period-stained jeans on top of the hamper. Gross. Kind of weird how whenever someone in this house is on their period, all the shit happens to yours truly; From bad moods being taken out on yours truly. Or maybe it's just today. Because today clearly is not my day.
Guess whose period it is and you officially get nothing.
