Thursday, September 15
Shit man, I brought an umbrella today and it didn't rain during the trip home. Fuck you rainmaker, make rain on Michael Bolton's scalp, he's clearly the one who needs moisturizing nourishment in his deceased hair follicles.

So I cried, I seriously fucking cried today in school. Because Jeremy just said the most fucking funny fat joke ever. I was telling him about how I saw this supremely fat freshman chick wearing ripped jeans with rips on her buttcheeks and whatnot, and so he says something like, "She's fat and smelly and gross, clean between your rolls once in a while." And I just about lost it. I laughed so hard that my eyes were tearing as much as people believe some Jesus statues cry, or how an emo kid cries on a daily basis. Then he says something like, "Maybe there's some mice running in there.."

I cried an entire glass of water in one tear. I don't know why I laughed that fucking much at one fucking sentence that I had to wipe off my eyes a couple times. Then I tell my own anecdote about how my mom was once talking to me during dinner and contemplating on how fat people take baths; Because of all the rolls of fat in front of them, how could they scrub their crotch? So I say to my mom, "Use a back brush?" You know, those two-foot long toothbrushes that some folks use in the shower to clean their backs.


Christina N. @ 4:49 PM