Tuesday, September 6
I made a new Brian Jones layout in LiveJournal. And I have to be honest, it is quite beautiful. And I'm talking about the picture mostly.

First day of school today, and when the normal family weekday dinner came by, my mom, of course, started asking me about how my day was. And even more obviously, I answer like an asshole. Let me ask you this, am I positive? If you don't know the answer to that question, then I suggest you exclude yourself from the internet and reading my shit for as long as you live, because you obviously are a shithead.

I prefer to be honest from now on when asked such questions rather than be a boring happy fuck. So of course I say shit like, "This ugly girl gave me this ugly look today which made her look like a bloated Jeff Goldblum" or something lame and typical but made my mom get aggravated anyway: "This year all the teachers are making me buy twice as many school supplies for each of their individual classes - I don't like wasting my money on notebooks that I'm going to use twenty pages of. And this is after I went back-to-school shopping already." And then she goes on like an pissed off menopausal woman, complaining about how I complain. I'm not really complaining because she asked me in the first place and that is my real sincere answer. (I'm not whining, it's just my opinion and since she asked me, I'm stating my real view on things.) It wasn't really a complaint anyway, I just tend to be on the "the glass is half empty" side. Also, honest to David Lee Roth, there wasn't that much good to say about today anyway.

Of course I was glad as all fucking hell to see friends again. But for some reason she doesn't care about that because I talk about boys. You know how asian and conservative moms are. "Boy? Did you have sex?"

It's probably just that she doesn't get my sense of humor, thinking that [even though she claims she knows that I'm just kidding about hating everyone] she really thinks I'm not normal and that I need help. I only need help when I'm on my period, because that's the only time that I'll actually deck someone in the face for bumping into me by accident. Call Denis Leary a fag and I'd just about cry. Then I'll deck you in the face with a car muffler two hours later.

What kind of knocks me off track is that my mom admitted that she's scared of me because I guess sometimes in her opinion, I look like I'm going to shoot her face with a rifle. Just like that, even if I'm just standing there waiting for her tell whatever it is that she asked me to come to her for. I don't know, I've lost the compassion in me long ago, around age seven or eight or so. I've lost just about every drop of being a caring person. For example, if someone tripped and scraped their knee and created a ketchup cup for french fry freaks on their knee, I'd just be like, "Are you okay?" Well of course they're not fucking okay. But that's just about how caring I could get. Unless that rare time when I love you or something. That'll most likely be post-period time.

Then I say some crap like, "If you don't like my negativity, ask your other daughter." And then my mom's like "No, I want to ask you. I want to fix your habit." No fucking way do you think I'm one of those emo/teen angst asses. It's just the way I tend to look at things, but I never take anything seriously so when I look at things negatively, I'm not really having some serious hate towards it. I would much rather have a negative sense of humor just for the fucking fun of it rather than the boring, "Yes Mom, I had a great day. I like my teachers and I love sitting next to my friends." Booooooring.

For some reason, after coming home and listening to the Stones, it is almost the greatest fucking feeling in the world. I'm not sure why, but I do know that their tunes are laid back and non-beating-the-shit-out-of-someone-crazy, which is great for quite a stressful day such as this. It's only the first day too, so get a sense of how my school-less [and preferable] life is.


Christina N. @ 8:08 PM