Sunday, September 4
Yesterday was a good day, a very good day. I finally got that The Job DVD. So my mom and sibling and I were at the Sam Goody at Bridgewater Commons. I walk in, knowing what I was going to get and what section to get the damn thing, walk straight to the shelf and pull the volume out. At the register when I was reaching into my wallet and pull out a hundred, my mom offers to pay for me. I'm not exactly sure why, but you fucking bet I was grateful. It's probably because before she said she would get it for me, and/or the fact that she likes Denis Leary too. That's pretty honorable of her to, because as opposed to her always keeping her promises, I like to hypothetically cross my fingers behind my back whenever somebody is making me take an oath for them.

The $53 worth total was truly worth it though - I finally got a chance to watch it today and I lean-back laugh for at least three to five times during each half hour episode - and I've only watched the first disc [out of four]. There was this one episode entitled "Bathroom" that just fucking made me crack my ass off. (Yeah, it's named after the place where everybody takes their morning shits, of course it cracked me up.) Ironically enough, after watching that same episode for the third time, I had to take quite a nasty shit myself. Ate too much fiber today.

Or whatever the fuck it is that makes you take nuclear dumps, I'm not a nutritionist.

So I waltz my ass to the bathroom, and just about one step in my mom says, "Hold on, let her brush her teeth first." - pertaining to the sibling. Well right now I'm pretty fucking pissed, because what's worse news than when you gotta take a shit really badly, step into the can and then someone tells you that you can't shit? Alright, so I didn't have time to say something nasty except for a pussy little "I gotta go!" and without waiting for a reaction from either relative, I run off to the basement, and of fucking course, I do my fucking business.

Yeah so while I'm sitting there crapping, the light above my head in the center of the bathroom ceiling starts to flicker. At first I just figured, "Well, a lot of lights do that and it most likely will not go out." But then there was that little bald pussy with the spectacles wearing white in the back of my head going, "It's going to burn out, find a secondary light source so that you could see where you're wiping your ass." Three seconds later, the light goes out.

Luckily enough, there's another light switch that goes to another much brighter bulb in the bathroom. And even more luckily enough, it was within hand's reach. So I never panicked the whole time. Even if there was no other light, fuck that, it's the fucking basement, I could sit up for less than a second and push the door open for the light in the main room to shine in. I fucking swear, I would really do that. I would much rather have shit staining the door rather than have shit staining myself.


Christina N. @ 11:33 PM