Tuesday, July 5
My grandma is leaving for the aiport tomorrow to go back home to California. From then until the 28th when cousins from California come to visit for three weeks I am probably going to be terrified of my mom. Maybe it's just a temporary right-now moment type of fear, because who knows what kind of shit could happen in those twenty-two days where no one could stop my mom's wrath of fury. Call me a fucking pussy, but that woman is fucking scary.

Since no one's occupying the sibling's room, she could have it back and the parents could have their room back, which the sibling was occupying. This means no more me staying up until 3:00 in the morning listening to Alice Cooper and trading funny jokes with Shaina all night online. Well it's all still possible, but I just have to be more careful - no loud TV, no loud music, no loud typing. But then there's the possibility that the parents will continue living in the basement for the rest of the summer. Then I'm smooth cruising. Or even better, I get to sleep in the sibling's room with the fucking air conditioner turned on specifically to my tastes and pubescent bodily sweat.

We have to wake up at 8:00 tomorrow to drive the granny to the airport. I hope we stop for a bagel or something.

Lauren's supposed to call so that we could hang out and celebrate my birthday soon. Next Wednesday is the official day and I have no idea what is going to happen. I'd probably get in trouble for something that I don't even know yet. I'm not having a party because no one would fucking go and I'm not much of a speaker so I'd be a shitty host also. Fuck the guests, I could just buy a cake and eat it all by myself. Turning sixteen isn't cool because the age of sixteen is always synonymous with stupidity and the most lack of wisdom out of any age range. The most stubborn, the most high-maintenence, the most annoying, the most sexually hunted, the most sexually abused. And most likely not by a guy who looks like Izzy Stradlin. I'll become part of the majority of pathetic MTV viewers.

However, the teenage years are when we are most susceptible of absorbing everything in our environment and exploring the world's ways - its gears and cogs, etc. Every lasting day that goes by during these years for me, I could feel all this shit absorbing into myself like a sponge. It's like I'm that electro-lady having waves of electricity or whatever the hell aurating around her body. I've never learned so much crap in one year(s). It's just that most of us are so fucking confused, which is perfectly normal. But then there's the number (or majority, you could say) who can't handle this major leap through life and hence cause chaos along the way.

It's so fucking humid today that I could seal an envelope by wiping it on my neck. But of course everybody is either too brittle or too old or too young to be in my utter level of extreme discomfort.


Christina N. @ 5:01 PM