Thursday, July 7
Wow, I finally got my computer to work once again after some number of months. In our house we use Optimum Online high-speed internet. But my computer is so fucked up, so virus-infected, that when using the internet on it, it's as slow as dial-up that is on a good day. For some reason today, this piece of shit that I call my Compaq Presario miraculously loaded up to the point where you could actually see the desktop. Then my heart started pumping. Me thinking, "What? What? This piece of shit is alive?" in the sense that it was some fat lady on Baywatch who stopped breathing when some ugly hairy idiot like Mitch drags her onto shore and tries to "CPR" some air into her lungs. Or a baby that I just shit out three months prematurely and it looks like a chinese dumpling plopped on the floor.

I am so happy that I sat here in front of my dearly beloved computer hungry as a Lindsay Lohan while watching No Cure For Cancer. Because at times I kept laughing and squirming in my seat so hard that I looked like a retard in a wheelchair wearing white hospital gear laughing at a teddy bear. But laughing in their retarded way that their jaw isn't aligned with the rest of their skull at the same time as it's opened real fucking wide, with their head leaning back and hitting the back of the chair. And their hands grasping the chair like they're on some Disney ride, because they're just so lame that they can't stand up to the teacup ride (without turning the speed wheel) like a real man. Not like a real man, but like an authentic asian pussy.

Or to make a long story short, I could've shit my pants. And shit my pants bad, because of this bad luck I've been having with my bowels lately.


Christina N. @ 1:36 AM