Monday, July 18
I really wish that I would never need to sleep. That I could just stay up all fucking night long and jump around like a fucking cokehead cheesy hair metal and laugh at the same Denis Leary jokes so many times that I become one of those old guys who never found out when Happy Days went off the air. Sleep is one thing that I particularly do not like trying to do, probably because I'm blessed with nothing but nightmares my entire life for no apparent reason and that I'm a fucking insomniac. I went to bed at 3:45 this morning and woke up at 1:15 in the afternoon. Eight hours of sleep is the said ample amount of time for a good night's rest, but I think this schedule of staying up so late is taking a toll on my ability to do anything during the time that I am awake. No matter how late I stay up and even if I sleep at the doctors' preferred number of hours, I'm still fucking tired during the entire day. But it's just too hard to get back to the right schedule of going to sleep a little earlier in order to wake up a little earlier. I think the only way that I could achieve that is to pull an all-nighter and go to sleep early the next day. But then my mom would start to get angry by looking at my under-eye circles and find out that I don't sleep at 11:00 like she thinks I do.

Fuck sleep, I don't need it. I want more time to drink caffeinated drinks and milkshakes and baking cakes and cookies all night long. Nothing is more fun to do at home except jerking off to Rescue Me than baking at night. I like the soft yellow lights and looking at the stars outside the window and turning on the television/stereo obscenely loud and sitting for thirty minutes watching the cake rise in the oven just like how the microwave fascinates me. It's just better at night for some reason. Probably because nobody is around or awake, and the television programs are better.

Whenever my family would leave for a party and I choose to stay home, I just feel like I could do whatever the fuck I want, and I do.

This morning at around 10:00 I was rudely interrupted by the sibling's TV blasting Baby Looney Tunes and it's two fucking bedrooms away down the hall from mine. Two fucking bedrooms away, my door is shut tight as usual and I could still hear every pathetic squeaky sentence that those diaperfucks say. I tried and tried to push it aside and continue snoozing but it was just so obnoxiously ridiculous to turn your TV that loud to a show such as that. I wonder why my mom never says anything about it. I got so fed up with it that I got up, expecting to pop a verbal cap in her ass to shut the fucking television up, for just a smidge, at least to the level where all I can hear in my room is a bunch of mumbling.

Turns out the girl was in the bathroom and the remote was lying on her bed like a zit on Gisele Bundchen's ass. I jumped for it (from my lack of eyesight and coordination) and grabbed for it like it was a gator chomping at a flock of gazelles, and furiously pressed the "-" button under the word "Volume."


Christina N. @ 7:55 PM