Sunday, June 19
If I had a dog, I would name it Canned Meat. I was watching Apocalypse Now last night and I forgot whether it was a cannon or their boat that had Canned Heat painted on it.

Later today we're going to Jeannie's for a barbecue or some kind of get-together, before my grandpa returns to California on Tuesday. I heard we're having lobster. How fucking awesome is that.

One o'clock in the morning they aired Jackass: The Movie on Comedy Central. I almost feel sorry for anyone who was awake (or even sleeping) at the time, for they would have heard me laughing my ass off and gasping for air. Had I been sitting up, it would have been one of those lean-back laughs, where the upper half of your head is practically severed from the bottom of your jaw from laughing so hard. But I was lying down and I felt like some kind of supernatural ghost thing with its mouth screaming and its radius a mile wide. With my head sinking down into my pillow and blankets like I'm drowning and dying in a sea of Gwar albums. That's how hard I was laughing. Or I may have looked like something popped down under and was just enjoying it so fucking much. Goddamn, I can never get enough Jackass.

It didn't end until three, so around two o'clock I was falling asleep for a few seconds during all the commercial breaks because they were so fucking boring and the movie kept me awake because it was so fucking funny. But then I discovered something. To keep me up for at least an hour more, all I had to do was get up and take a piss. I'm fucking serious, too. Get up, cold feet on the floor, turn the fucking bathroom light on and blind yourself, and the whole experience just knocks a lot of that sleep out of your head for a little while longer.

After taking a piss, I stayed up without dozing off for a second for the rest of the movie; commercials and all.


Christina N. @ 1:37 PM