Thursday, June 23
I've been laughing so much lately. And at the dumbest things too. So many good times with Shaina. We like our coffee and english muffins that we can't even have.

A few days ago I received a large envelope in the mail. You know what the fucking return address was? Me. The envelope was mailed from me, to me. Uh no it fucking wasn't, I don't own large envelopes like that, I own little white envelopes that don't look like Keith Richards' butt skin. And if I did own large yellow envelopes, the fucking metal clasps would actually exist on them. The cheap fuck who sent me this envelope used tape, therefore when opening the envelope some of the paper peels off of itself. To prove that they were even more lame, the fucking thing was even used. There were all these foreign signatures of people I don't know written all over the back and some were crossed out. It was a unibomber-looking envelope that I received in the mail yesterday.

The look on my mom's face was the look when somebody showed her an ass that yields a mole the size of a pig foot. It was intense.

This cheap fuck was the school. Being the history buff that I am, despite all of the "stupid" classes I signed up for, I decided to test myself and take the highest history placement class. And to my dismay, my terrible, terrible dismay, it was a summer reading program that was mandatory if I wanted to be in the class. Fuck man, that takes off some of my masturbation time. Three books, five-page papers on each. Fifteen pages of plagiarism, here I come.

At first I was furious beyond any Axl Rose in front of a balding cameraman. I was planning on leisurely, in my own pace, read some other shit of my own interest throughout the summer. But I guess they want me to put a shard of ice up my ass and dump another huge burden back onto my shoulders. I felt that if I were to actually do this, I would have been giving into their system of preferred education. Busting my ass off as a free ticket to a class that I have no idea is quality to what degree. There's so much more to dispute, but I'd rather pee on myself in this leather chair and white pants right now.

Greatest fucking picture in existence. Next to a cock-shot belonging to Tommy Lee, Mr. Cockmaster Flex.


Christina N. @ 5:54 PM