Friday, May 20
I am in such a bitterly, nasty, sour mood right now that I could just rip apart a fucking cow in a field and set every single fucking tendon and morsel of its muscles on fire and then throw rats into the pile and then make a dog drink Jack Daniel's out of an elephant's ass and make it piss all over the remains. I've been in such a fucking pissy mood today and I have no idea why. Here are some theories.

1. the weather is absolute dogshit
2. last night i didn't want to become too dependent on allergy medicine so i didn't take a pill before bed, so the birth control is probably in full gear again, causing moodiness
3. i am just that type of an axl rosey person
4. i've got some kind of social problem(s) that i don't want to acknowledge or admit to and all the crap is building up inside

Well or maybe it's just because that my mother came in the room a while ago while I was clicking webpages back and forth and typing in little HTML boxes trying to fix the layout, making her think I was chatting inappropriate shit and was trying to hide it from her, hence the clicking back and forth. She abruptly came in and rudely accuses me of talking about something bad or intolerable with someone(s) on AIM. Which I wasn't. Nor have I ever done, besides being my usual sadistic self, but I think she means cyber sex or some pathetic shit like that. I fucking don't. And every time she does this, more and more, I get more and more angry every time until I fucking swear someday I will burst. Nothing makes someone angrier when others are accusing them of vile actions, especially when that person is totaly against those types of actions in the first place. If someone had accused me of doing something and had they not been a family member, I probably would have fucking stomped their fucking face to the ground with my heel until there were scuff marks in the asphalt and pebbles flying around.

But I've finally realized that I am at my bitchiest (put aside any hormonal problems) when I'm hungry. Like seriously, man. After gym class today I planned to go make up an english quiz at the library really quick before I went to lunch to get the damn thing over with. Well, after already pissing myself off because I had to actually contemplate on one of the problems and wasted a minute, I had to wait behind these pathetic freshmen who were just signing into the library. And after the long wait that the first one or two dorks (yeah, just by looking at them I could tell they were fucking dorks) took in signing their names and date/time on the roster, the one last fuck takes like thirty, thirty goddamn seconds, or maybe even longer, making his name all pretty and neat and the date/time all nice and perfect. Who the hell gives a fuck? Just skimming through all the past papers and signatures from other people who've signed in before, it fucking looks like an entire beehive went and took a crap on it. My blood was boiling so furiously that I swear it could've evaporated and God would've breathed the steam up his nose, that was how fucking flaming my veins were. I was standing there behind these fucktards all with their glasses and bulky unnecessary backpacks full of unnecessary notebooks and pens and shit, while my biceps were fucking pumping engine fuel, ready to fucking deck them square in the face and let me fucking sign out so I could go downstairs and stuff my face with at least some decent food in order for my stomach to shut the hell up. And there was practically nothing left. I have the last lunch block today and I had already wasted time with the quiz.

I was fucking flaming. Damn serious, dude. It's that sort of anger [that's still sticking around right now] where you could just feel that tension in your eyebrows, those brows arching to a perfect forty-five degree angle. And I wasn't even on my period. As a matter of fact, it ended two days ago. But after years of observing patterns, I tend to be in a darn skippy fabulous mood either during or after that time. What's with this month? No fucking idea.


Christina N. @ 5:58 PM