I think there's something wrong with me. The reason for my foul mood lately could probably still be what I've said before, but now it's really starting to bother me. I am really well aware of it but I seriously can't stop it. Actually, I bet I can, but it's just that I won't. This is something I need to work on.
I just feel so fucking locked up. We've been having such great fucking weather and every time I look out the window, I get so fucking paranoid and almost claustrophobic, my parents don't let me go out. Someone needs to ask me to hang out, then I'd get out of here, and hopefully get rid of my syndrome, or whatever the fuck this is.
It doesn't help if I keep on reading crazy books like the one about cults and crazy motherfuckers like them.
What I would hate the most is if I sound teenage angsty. Well just mentioning it ruins the whole damn thing, but I don't think I've reached that yet. I'm yelling "FUCK YOU!" No, we don't need that. That's the most immature of the immature and I rarely use that unless there's no logical reasoning left to use. Who would I say it to? Myself? Yelling at myself is dumb. I prefer to watch an episode of Seinfeld and let all of my problems go away. For thirty minutes, at least.
Lauren's supposed to contact me and we're supposed to go to Java Johnny's or something. She hasn't contacted me yet. I IMed her to remind her to call me, she logged off sometime later without answering. Sheesh I hate it when she ignores my messages or when her computer fucks up. I must spend a day with Britt too, it's been ages. Other than that, I'll just be staying home not showering while cleaning and tidying the house. Perhaps cook. If I don't get out of here soon enough, I'll become a fucking housewife. Without the husband, the sex, and the kids. I'll also become a crazy wreck, because I'll also continue reading the book about deadly cults.
Oh I bet she'll contact me anyway, she's pretty dependable in that department. Just pretty confusing though.
So these little strands of hair along my hairline are bent so that they're waving around in front of my face. All day. It's fucking pathetic. Much like this.
But not so many strands and not so blonde. And it's pointing to the right.
Christina N. @ 7:32 PM
