Saturday, February 12
My folks are taking me to one of those parties again later today. The only reason I'm going is because being at home alone is even more meaningless and lonely than going to those. And the fact that it's a chinese new year party and I'll most likely get money. I'm a greedy bitch who's also very cheap. So all in all, I should go.

The Al Bundy curse is kicking in again. The bad karma is coming around. Yesterday wasn't the greatest day, because of the thing in french class, and Lauren, who took me to see Conan and whose done so much for me and hopefully I did the same thing for her, which I doubt, didn't talk to me or say hello or anything at all, even if we did run into each other twice throughout the day. Kind of odd, why people tend to leave me. Or so it seems. I hope she isn't, because sometimes we do ignore each other like that for no reason at all and just continue talking the next day just like always.

But yesterday it was quite rude and unusual. I went up to her and her overly religious christian bitch friend after gym class to hang out for a while before her lunch ended. I went up to their table and we all looked each other in the eye. Nothing. It was awkward, so I walk away. Then when I was at my locker after my lunch ended, she comes by on her way to class, we look each other in the eye again, and still not a single thing. I meant to say hello and shit each time, but I knew in her eyes she probably wasn't going to say anything. And if anything at all, it probably wouldn't be very welcoming.

Like I said, sometimes we ignore each other, but yesterday's examples were just impolite and it makes me think that she's starting to think negatively of me. I have no fucking idea why, I haven't changed at all since Wednesday, as in my thoughts of our relationship and whatsoever. If everything turns out fine on Monday, then I'm just being a fucking puss and am not supposed to be so fucking worked up on nothing at all.

You're probably wondering about this "religious christian bitch" friend of Lauren's. I've written a whole lot of shit on her before, and I'm not going to repeat it again. I'll just say that I fucking despise religious people who inquire that everything you say is bad and is a disgrace to god during a conversation. Well you know what, I'm not a fucking conformist and I'll believe and fucking say whatever the fuck I want, and whatever the fuck I believe is right in my mind. We sort of talked last year, but she just got so fucking high up my grill that I'd just had enough of it and started ignoring her completely. Hypocritical from my views of having to show respect to everyone, yes, but this girl is just so full of bullshit that I couldn't take it anymore.

A possibility is that while at lunch they could've been talking about me and how much I hate religion and people who fucking dump it on me [like her] and it could lead to Lauren's disliking of me. But I doubt that, because before, we agreed that our differences in opinions of certain people is not each other's business and we'll be friends anyway despite hating some of each other's friends.


Christina N. @ 3:17 PM