Saturday, February 26
I think there's something wrong with me. I haven't been thinking out of the box, I've been so close-minded, therefore coming off as a fucking dumb shit. Yeah, I'm already a fucking dumb shit, but I'm starting to become the kind of dumb shit that's associated with Poison fans. Probably because I've been listening to the Motley Crue song "Same Ol' Situation," which fucking sounds a hell of a lot like Poison. Why the fuck do I keep on listening to it then? Because a Bret Michaels wig is seeping into my scalp, that's why. Or maybe it's the fact that I've suddenly gotten into Lynyrd Skynyrd. Rednecks aren't the smartest people, you know. And racists are pretty fucking close-minded also.

Insecurity is starting to sink in because of this. That's one of the most horrible states of self-reflection there is. I think I'm starting to become paranoid about if certain people like me or not. Before, I didn't really give a fuck if they liked the way I was or not, but something's been fucking up my mind. Maybe staying home for this long alone and not having any interaction except for with the same three people over and over does bad to oneself.

So maybe it will be better for me to go back to that shithole on Monday. Good part is that, bad part is that I probably won't have my homework done. Believe this fuckers, I have six essays to do for one class. None of which I have even studied any notes for, nor listened to any of that boring shit in class.

It's fucking bullshit that next week is going to be nothing but bitterly cold weather when it's only about two weeks left until spring. I'm fucking tired of wearing my ugly ass wool coat and buttoning it up so fucking high up my neck and in addition to that, fucking suffocate myself with a scarf that has never been cleaned since the day it was bought five years ago. Sweaters are a fucking drag also. All of mine are old and left over from even as far back as when I was eleven. They're still huge. They still make me look like the fucking Berenstein bear that did nothing but sit in its lawn chair for fourteen hours a day drinking whiskey out of a Dixie cup as it yields a rifle in one arm threatening to shoot the next motherfucker who drops a ball on its property.

My obession with the internet is getting extremely severe. I sit here for about twelve hours a day, half a day, every day, visiting the same eight or so websites over and over and over and fucking over until I get another yelling from my mother to clean or eat or shower or some other supposedly unimportant thing to an internet obsesser. There should be a rehab for people like me that involves free sex and brownies.

Creedance Clearwater Revival is such a hard fucking band name to say. It's a fucking tongue twister, for god's sake. Even typing it is hard enough. I just found out recently that Hanoi Rocks didn't originally write "Up Around the Bend." But I like their version better anyway.


Christina N. @ 10:10 PM