This afternoon I watched a show called I Married...Sebastian Bach. He fucking pulled an Axl. And I fucking laughed my ass off. He was in the backyard of his house playing frisbee or some shit with his son, shirtless, and oh man, he looked like a pulsating pork roast with gravy splattered all over it with a garnish of hay on top. He's such a bitch too, he's so fucking spoiled. But his wife tolerates it anyway and goes along with it. It's adorable watching them blab and blab and blab and blab on and on and on and on about a $7000 check.
"I PUT THE CHECK IN THE CHEECH & CHONG TRUCK!"
Oh man, I fucking fell off the couch. Bachie and his wife were talking about some check I don't know what it's for because I wasn't listening, but he left some $7000 check in a ceramic Cheech & Chong truck jar and his wife was looking for it. He was yelling all this shit about the Cheech & Chong jar while laying naked or something in bed under the covers and sipping his coffee and shit. What a bitch. But I love him anyway.
It was absolutely adorable, well at least for a hopeless romantic fuck like me, when at the end his wife started crying after they both professed each other's love and stuff, and he was all trying to comfort her. I guess Sebitchian isn't so much of a bitch in very rare occasions.
The guitarist, Head, from Korn, quit. "Guitarist HEAD Quits KORN, Dedicates Life To Christianity." That's fucking hilarious. The greatest line that I've read all fucking month. "Welch plans on further explaining his decision to leave KORN this coming Sunday, when he'll address the congregation at the Valley Bible Fellowship in Bakersfield, California. And on February 28 he plans to leave for Israel." Holy shit, he's pulling a Whitney Houston.
And Carrie, this next line's for you.
Has anyone noticed that Sebastian Bach looks like Ann Coulter? Long blonde hair, big mouth, you should get the idea. Both are big-mouthed blonde bitches.
This is one hell of a hot chick.
Christina N. @ 9:59 PM
