Saturday, January 1
Fuck New Year's resolutions. I'd rather take a long, hard shit. I don't want to change the way I am, even for the better. Because no matter what, I will always be a scummy little bitch who lives for seeing people live in agony. Now I can laugh at all you fuckers, trying to lose weight and pretty yourselves up for, no one. I doubt that special person is going to like you anyway, you fucking flab. After one loses a lot of weight, there's still all that extra skin to get rid of. Then it's time to call Dr. Beverly Hills 90210. Which could lead to credit card debt, for not being able to pay off your tummy (more like body) tuck. You then realize that it is impossible to pay that incredible debt - because you are an uneducated fucking scum (like me) who only makes about thirty thousand a year. This forces you to apply for bankruptcy. Bankruptcy takes ten years of credit away from you. That means no credit card advantages, dumbfuck. No credit card advantages means no purchasing a house for your naked ass, no purchasing a car for your still-fat legs, no nothing for your starving kindling, fuckwit. And this, my children, is what happens when you stick to your New Year's resolutions. The #1 New Year's resolution in America is to lose weight and be fit. Your future that I just accurately portrayed is your consequence. But only in the U.S. Other places in the world aren't as fat as you. They, on the other hand, have some dignity. Or intelligence, rather. The only thing that they are lacking is excess blubber. Europeans, asians, south americans, australians, africans, antarcticans, eskimos, even the japanese - I applaud you.

This is house undergoing a food famine. A sweets famine. I think I might bake a cake later tonight. Yes, baking in the middle of the night is one of my favorite past times. Maybe after I watch ReMaking Vince Neil. I'm going to need a nice treat to shut my laughing mouth.


Christina N. @ 8:56 PM