Saturday, December 18
Asians don't like Christina. Yesterday at the pep rally, I was sitting with Lauren, Molly, and Amanda. About ten minutes into the fucking event, to the left I noticed that I was sitting next to the sophomore class asian clan. By accident I kicked the girl whom I was sitting next to's foot upon discovering that there was green gum on the bottom of my foot. I said to her I was sorry. She didn't say a damn thing back and in addition to that I think she gave me a look. I really don't get these people. I always run into them, not literally, but occasionally like in the hallway or something, and they always look at me. Whether it's just one, or two together. The girls always give me a look and the dudes are always looking at me. Not in the checking out kind of way, but the "Who is this person?" kind of way. They never talk to anyone, nor to one another either. Whenever they have to, they stay together. Without a word. It's really depressing, that I am disliked by my own kind. I'm not surprised, because not even my own relatives like me all that much either. Maybe I'm destined to be white.

The asians in the school are quite the mystery. They all look the same. They all wear the same clothes. Especially the girls. They look like those japanese j-pop trendy stars. They all wear those Ugg boots with their little flared jeans. They all wear those fuzzy trimmed jackets. They all wear those scarves indoors. They all dye their hair brown. They are all SHORT. The dudes are of average height, but still don't measure up to my humungo stature. Except for Steven, but he's on his own wigger league. They never talk to anyone but their own kind, and even to them they're very quiet. Are they shy? Probably, but at least show some goddamn respect and at least acknowledge the other people that are around you. Come on, is it that hard to say "It's okay" after someone says to you that they are sorry? And instead, give that person a rude look? I don't get why they only talk to them and not to me, the other lonely stranger of their ethnicity. Because I happen to be the total opposite in many ways. Oh well, fuck that. I'm always willing to make new friends, but I don't think these kids are going to be one of them.

Respect is the one thing that this world needs more of. Fucking shit, this entry was supposed to be a shitload longer. But you know what? My computer fucks itself and I lost the entire thing, having to restart this piece of shit twice before being able to type what I can remember of it. I swear, it was the closest yet I was of pulling an Axl. What you've just read was only a portion of the original post. I wrote an entire paragraph, more like two, of insightful shit that a lot of people could learn from. And guess what, it fucking disappears. I am still extremely enraged and could still feel that nerve on my forehead pulsating like a raging vagina. I totally forgot every single fucking thing about what I said about manners, respect, and respecting others. I felt that this one was going to be an award winner. But it's gone. Thanks to adware that fucks up my computer. Well that sucks for you, that sucks for me, that really sucks for me, that we cannot read what the fucking hell I typed. I even print screened the goddamn screen when it froze, but noooo, I had to restart and lost it.

Fuck this, I've had enough. My mood was originally excited, about what I don't know because it's fucking close to Christmas.


Christina N. @ 3:56 PM