Friday, December 10
How the fuck does Deep Purple come up with the greatest fucking riffs? Not to mention drumming. Not only does Ritchie Blackmore kick ass, the drummer does too. But I'm a dumb fuck and I don't know the drummer's name.

I was watching My Coolest Years: The Metalheads. Hilarious shit. Then my mom made me go clean the goddamn kitchen. Inside and outside every cabinet. Damn right I got angry. But I did not pull an Axl.

Today I got my first holiday gift. It was a Velvet Revolver bracelet that Isabelle sent. Very awesome, I love it. The card that came with it read,

I tried packing Izzy Stradlin in this envelope but I had some trouble. :(

It made my day anyway.

Well, the rest of the day was pretty peachy though. Failed a few quizzes, ate chinese food, pissed off a few people, saw a few people get pissed off, it was all good.

The only Beach Boys song I ever like and ever will like is "Wouldn't it Be Nice." It's perfect for frolicking in flowerfields holding hands with any old fucker that would want to frolick like a pussy in a flowerfield with a little fucker like me.

Lauren said that she would most likely be able to get us those Motley Crue tickets for March 3rd. I am extremely excited.

The thing about Motley Crue is, they were the first '80s band I ever liked, but shied away from my shallow fandom and kept my fucking mouth shut because at that time a lot of assholes around me were saying shit about them and how much of a horrible shitty metal band they were and had no substance at all, comparing them to the likes of, Poison. So in conclusion, I was a fucking pussy and didn't stand up for them. Or me. The first time I was ever exposed to the Crue was watching some documentary, I think 20 Years of Rock on MTV or some crap like that, or maybe it was just some special day on the network, and they played "Dr. Feelgood." I got hooked. And to be completely honest for once, with the stupidity of my youthful young age then, didn't know shit about '80s music and even back then, saw some stuff from Poison and thought that Poison sucked. I'm proud of msyelf.

But one thing that I really, really fucking regret was this: When I was around ten years old or so I made a list of all crappy artists that I hated with a deep passion.

Led Zeppelin was on that list. I hated Led Zeppelin. I thought that Robert Plant's voice was like a cat tap dancing on a chalkboard while getting a blowjob from Nikki Sixx.

I hadn't eaten the entire day until the party in art class. I invited Eric to come, thank Jimmy Page I had to enjoy that latino music bullshit for another hour and half without some kind of decent person's voice to comprehend rather than Ricky Ricardo wannabes who wear burlap bags that hang from those police horses' asses in New York City. Because you know, they just shit so much, they have to keep it somewhere without having to go to the bathroom and leave their mark every hour or so.

He also helped me work on my dog thing and I think I'm starting to like it. Maybe, because that thing looks like sculpted mashed potatoes on a cold hour-old dinner plate that a five year old cunt won't eat because the peas were touching them. It still needs teeth and an eye though. Eye because you're only seeing it from the side, you dumb shit.

Drove me home also, with another girl joining. Hm, I forgot her name. I tend to forget a lot of people's names along with a lot of other things, but that's because I'm a horrible inconsiderate dipshit. Actually, I don't think I even heard her name.

I also forgot my other new friend's name which I mentioned a while ago. Still can't remember.

Wearing black pants is annoying. So much dust gets stuck to it. And it's the worst when you're sitting on the floor for a long time. After hundreds of stupid losers have already stepped on the floor.

Sometimes spoons are just really fucking pointless when you're eating soup that doesn't require chewing. As a matter of fact, they are always pointless when you're eating soup that doesn't require chewing. Unless you're some kind of dumbass who likes proper etiquette and table manners. Well fuck you, I eat like a slob and I don't need no fucking utensil. Sometimes I get rice on my shirt and not even feel like getting it off, so it's just left there to dry and harden, being stuck on the shirt until it goes into the laundry. Which is not until about five days later.

However, toothpaste is not a fun stain to have on your clothing. Rice is fun to pick off, but toothpaste, you can't pick it off because it's a fucking cream that absorbs into your fucking shirt, making a white stain that looks like you creamed yourself while being in the bathroom with the month's issue of Classic Rock. Not Playgirl, because those dudes are just so goddamn beefy and chunky, and I cannot jerk off to Fabio. Seriously, he is no jerk-off subject. Especially hearing that he used to date a transexual and killed a goose that collided into his face while riding on a rollercoaster.

I have a fucking orthodontist tomorrow morning at 9:30 or something. That really fucking sucks.

My mom made me clean the cabinets with Pledge Dry Wipes, Orange Scented. The oil rubbed on my hands and now they smell like oranges. Which is cool though. Because every time I sneeze and cover my face I reward my courteous getting-rid-of-the-dust-in-my nose with a nice whiff of Florida citrus scent.


Christina N. @ 6:44 PM