Sunday, November 14
I thought I lost my best friend today. Since the kitchen started its remodelling process I haven't seen him since. Then I found him in the basement under the table.

Oh Mr. Toaster, oh how I love you! We make waffles and toast together, those moments are cherished forever and locked into my heart.

Nothing's been going on, except that I think the mother is angry because the daughter has not been cleaning. The daughter did not clean her mayonnaise stained shirt since last night either.

Last night I watched videos of Guns n' Roses, Led Zeppelin, and The Stones. This one clip of Elton John performing "Bohemian Rhapsody" at the Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert and when Axl looking as pussy-like as ever, jumps out of nowhere, oh god he looks hilarious. Leather kilt, scraggly beard, football jersey with the bottom cut off exposing his growing pork fat love handles, and unproperly placed red bandana, Coco Chanel would have a seisure in her grave just feeling his feet thumping the ground up above.

I watched a John Cusack movie this morning, Pushing Tin or something. It fucking sucked. I'm ashamed of you, Lloyd Dobbler. But then again, Billy Bob Thornton was in it. When I heard that you see Billy Bob's nasty ass in Monster's Ball, it forever tainted my youthful mind. So whenever I think of Billy Bob Thornton from now on, I think of nasty old man hairy ass knocking up Halle Berry. The fact that Halle Berry is there doesn't help either, because I'm straight.

Thursday when Ilona called me, told me to call her back on Friday. I never did. Doesn't anybody hear me when I firmly say, "I never like the phone. It could run up to you and sit itself up in your musty ass for the next fifty years for all I care." When you want to talk to me, you call me. I never call you. The only time I ever call you is when you are the one who is responsible for my dinner.

I have about $6 now. I want to purchase Motley Crue's book, The Dirt. It costs about $11 dollars for the paperback version. I would much rather prefer the hardcover, which is around $28 or so. This is going to take two more months to earn. And if I continue at this rate, it'll take about a year to raise enough for the hardcover edition.

I'll complain about my financial deficit all I want, because none of you fucking care. You throw your money around on twenty dollar cheeseburgers only to end up eating half and throwing the rest away. And buying twelve CDs in one day of shopping and not even listening to all of them until two years later. Buying your Guns n' Roses t-shirts by the bulk along with your thirty Jim Morrison posters of the same goddamn picture. Well bitch, send some of that money over here for my walls, closet, shelves, and bookcase are empty.

So is my stomach. But I think Mr. Toaster is angry at me for not rescuing him from five nights alone in the darkness.


Christina N. @ 4:54 PM