Monday, November 29
I hate The Beach Boys, except for "Wouldn't it Be Nice." Don't you ever compare them to The Beatles, and how you think they're the California version of a '60s boyband and The Beatles are the New York version of a '60s boyband. Fuck you, The Beach Boys suck. Striped shirts and khaki pants and weighing three hundred pounds to lie in bed for a year were never sexy.

Oh man I love the movie Bubble Boy. It's so fucked up that it's good. Fabio, whores next door, ice cream and curry trucks, and Mini Me all in one movie. Can't get any funnier than that.

I'm scared to go back to school tomorrow. B days are the days that I have all classes with all assholes from my grade. And the majority of my grade despises me. I despise them too. I could almost lick Michael Bolton's bald spot rather than be around them for two more years after this year of more bullshit.

My dad and I just watched a movie, Twisted. My mom's a big Ashley Judd fan so we rent a lot of her movies whenever Blockbuster mails home a "Rent One, Get One Free!" coupon or some shit like that. In addition to the peace of aristocratic ass-wiping paper, my mom has an aristocratic ass-wiping buffer: a membership card. So we end up paying about two dollars per rented movie. That's how crazily cheap we are.

This flick wasn't as great as her other films, even if she did get around and fucked every murder victim there was before he got killed. Which was around five. She has the same underwear as what Jennifer Beals wore in Flashdance to her audition. So it's either that Ashley Judd likes to dance in the bedroom or Jennifer Beals likes to give old crusty man judges some long-awaited erections. I didn't include Jennifer Lopez because she does that already.


Christina N. @ 1:09 AM