Thursday, October 7
So my mom got a new haircut today. And while her and I were eating dinner in the dining room, she tells me about how close-minded and simple my poppy is and that he never notices a fucking thing. She assumes that he is going to live to the age of 100, being so humble and supposedly peaceful in his never wanting to know anything, taken from such stories like the stupid ignorant simple people in the south who live that long too. We then see his car pull up in the driveway. And after what seemed like 10 minutes of who knows what the fuck he's organizing or shit in the car, finally walks through the door complaining about the shitty traffic that took fucking forever, stretching his drive home to approximately 45 minutes of grimacing and scowling at the non-moving vehicles in front of him. He continues to complain and bitch all the way to his bedroom to change. Even still bitching when he gets out of the bathroom and is getting his dinner. While sitting at the dining table, eating and minding his own business, amidst my hopes of keeping my mouth shut from laughing and spitting my food out and my mom giving me looks of, "See, I told you he never notices anything!", she even sticks her face into his sight while he munches on tofu to make it even more obvious.

He still doesn't notice or lift his angry head in acknowledgement of her new doo. Then she asks if he wants to watch TV, again bothering him with shoving her head into his sight. He obliges, and continues to devour. I have then absolutely had enough of holding my laughter in. I finally let it all out, throwing up all over the Windexed spotless glass dining table - water, rice, tofu, the Liquid Ice that Jessica Simpson advertised from first block today, and letting out all the hilarity I could take. It got all over my hands. I was trying to keep it in when I knew it was going to come out. I started coughing/laughing and got up and speedwalked to the kitchen, where I cleaned myself up. It took me about 6 more minutes after sitting back down until I could continue eating.

No one noticed, I hid behind my bowl of food when I hurled and it was mostly water. But there were quite a few bits of food here and there.

Other than the table washout, today was absolutely ordinary extraordinary absolutely

PLAIN.

I was trying to keep it in when I knew it was going to come out.
Sexual innuendos are funny.


Christina N. @ 7:06 PM