Wednesday, August 25
Okay, last night I was sitting all alone in my room watching That '70s Show and after Kelso tells Fez that he's beautiful and there's a pause between their dialogue, suddenly from out of nowhere I hear this fart. I'm serious, all lights were off, everyone else was asleep in their room snoring or jacking off or whatever with their doors closed, my door was closed tightly, absolutely no one else was in my room. It's the scariest thing, man, hearing farts out of nowhere.

The most grateful thing was, there was no smell.

A couple of days ago I made a piece of shit just so I could comment and complain on other people's. Seriously, that site fucking sucks and if you think it's for beginners who don't know shit about quality blogging (which they really don't), well, they are full of shit.

Some fucktard has been honking the horn of his car for the entire day and we can't seem to figure out where the fucking car was. If I were one of those old people who never married and all I did was sit on my porch on my rocking chair and throwing nuts at squirrels and children, I'd run out there with a metal bat and fucking club that guy right smack on the back of the head head so hard that his eyes pop out of his head and boogers and snot and 2 pints of blood spew out of his nose and out of his mouth would be skull fragments like hardened parmesian cheese coming out of a shaker. Come on, it's still summer, our windows are up and we can hear everything. Wait until winter when we have wool stuffed in our ears, then honk your horns all you want.

Denis Leary is genius. I watched him on David Letterman last night before the mysterious fart from nowhere thing. That man's cracks compared to mine, mine are like George W. Bush trying to crack jokes while campaigning in Wisconsin. Yes, I suck that bad. I wish he'd adopt me, he fucking kicks that much ass for me to say that. But then again, I don't think he'd want to. I can't even stand myself for god's sake.

Everywhere he goes he looks like he hates everyone around him with the utmost "KISS MY FUCKING IRISH ASS" expression on his face. I wish they'd show more of his standup on tv, fuck you and your Al Franken and Kathy Griffin. Denis Leary's the man.


Christina N. @ 4:42 PM